Hardest aspect and how to work on it.

[midnight]

Don't mean to be all negative and stuff, but I'm actually really struggling with one particular aspect.  Maybe we can use this thread to share their least easy aspects and perhaps we can help each other on how to deal with them?

I'm really struggling with Mars/Mercury hard aspect.  For an example, my sister has her Mars exactly square my Mercury. I literally can't say anything without being attacked.  It's not just having different opinions. She blatantly disagrees with me no matter what. I'm so frustrated. I really don't want to fight, and takes A LOT of effortto control my own Mars square Saturn/Pluto.  Other than that, we have a lovely synastry.  For example, her Venus conj my Sun, etc.

[anela]

Aug 5, 2017 23:25:27 GMT midnight said:

Don't mean to be all negative and stuff, but I'm actually really struggling with one particular aspect.  Maybe we can use this thread to share their least easy aspects and perhaps we can help each other on how to deal with them?

I'm really struggling with Mars/Mercury hard aspect.  For an example, my sister has her Mars exactly square my Mercury. I literally can't say anything without being attacked.  It's not just having different opinions. She blatantly disagrees with me no matter what. I'm so frustrated. I really don't want to fight, and takes A LOT of effortto control my own Mars square Saturn/Pluto.  Other than that, we have a lovely synastry.  For example, her Venus conj my Sun, etc.

I went through that with my sister, for a few years, but that was when she was filled with rage towards me. Her Mars is trine my Ceres/Chiron/Sun, and Mercury widely; my Mars is sextile her Sun, but we have Mercury square Mercury. We had a somewhat volatile relationship when we were kids, too. It sucks when you don't want to fight, but it happens anyway. 

[anela]

Sun conjunct Chiron (Although Ceres might be a benevolent influence there).
Chiron conjunct Mercury.
Mercury square Saturn (wide).
Saturn square Jupiter. Jupiter opposed Pluto.

I think I mostly have a handle on Moon/Venus square Mars, but they're in easier signs (Gemini and Pisces).

Transit that terrifies me, so I try not to think about it: Pluto square Ceres/Chiron/Sun. The square to Mercury has been hard enough, when it's there.

[midnight]

Thank you anela for your reply. It could be just a sibling issue. I really do my best not to hurt her. Despite her being all "I don't care" attitude, she has a sensitive Cancer Moon (trine my Venus).

Actually, I find most Mercury squares difficult, especially to Mars or another Mercury.

Do you have a Sun/Chiron/Ceres? Wow, sounds beautiful and fragile, but transit Pluto must be hard o.O

[Deleted]

midnight,
Do you look at your composite with her?

I have composite sun square moon with a fam member and we're never on the same page

[Violets]

I have hard Mars or Mercury aspects with the majority of my close family members (yay), so I don't even know what to say about that, midnight. 🙄
It's like so ingrained in how I interact with them that I guess I have to try to fall back on the more favorable aspects in our synastry, if they're to be found. They usually are, thankfully. It's when a transit hits one of those points with another hard aspect that I notice it the most, of course.

I'm usually the Mars person in these dynamics (why does everyone have to be messing with my Mars?! ), so I can take offense or become argumentative over things that the other person didn't even mean in an argumentative way. I end up apologizing a lot.

As I also have Mars square Uranus/IC in my natal, I can burst out unexpectedly at my family members, seemingly out of the blue. Probably because my Cap Mars and Scorpio IC/Uranus try to keep things quiet and not make a scene, until I've bottled it up enough to pop a cork. Eh, anyway... 😑😒

[FruityLlama]

Gosh do you know me and my sister have mercury square mercury and we do seem to have drifted and also view things very differently. I think we find each other annoying. I find her antagonistic and a tad self absorbed (her mercury in leo). She probably finds me opinionated and rigid.
Her saturn is also on my moon. She has always been cold towards me....i mean she is cold anyway but I find it unnerving and offensive. We also have otherwise alright synastry especially in house placements. We are ok really but i just dont think she likes me at all haha. She has natal pluto in 3rd so was always tuned that way i guess.

I find moon incompatibility difficult too but they can be overcome with time. I dont have any advice but will think on it.

[12YearsABlob]

Aug 5, 2017 23:25:27 GMT midnight said:

I'm really struggling with Mars/Mercury hard aspect.  For an example, my sister has her Mars exactly square my Mercury. I literally can't say anything without being attacked.  It's not just having different opinions. She blatantly disagrees with me no matter what. I'm so frustrated. I really don't want to fight, and takes A LOT of effortto control my own Mars square Saturn/Pluto.  Other than that, we have a lovely synastry.  For example, her Venus conj my Sun, etc.

It's hard to say without looking at the synastry - but maybe you could focus on the 'escape' route? Like, if there is a pleasant sextile to something else from her Mars or your mercury. Or even if not those two, say your Venus plays well with hers - find time to bond over common interests?
Natal Mars square Saturn/Pluto is a biggie -- I can imagine how hard it must be to keep that in check.

Like FruityLlama here, for me personally, mercury square mercury is one of *the* hardest to work through. Probably because there is no 'working through'? No bueno.

Mercury square mercury - something's got to give, and it's not gonna be either one of you.

Maybe I have such a bleak view of it because I'm thinking of fixed mercury squares (based on my experience). Fixed squares are like a permanent deadlock.

Besides, it's an important planet in my chart.

Other than finding common ground, I think - a possible solution here is plain ole compromise. I know, *duhh*. Dunno if it'll work for everybody, but let me tell you how it goes for me.

The most natural course of action for Scorpio mercury is to go dead silent, for however long it lasts. Sometimes forever. (Or, let it all out n say something truly cutting -- which I try to avoid). I try to step into the shoes of my neighbour, Sag mercury - and use humour to break the ice with my Leo mercury friends.

I don't always succeed. My own Saturn squares give me lockjaw more often than not. But when I put on my Sag thinking cap - it works out just fine. All's good in the hood. We can go back to being goofy, chatty friends.

If it's a square, the 'solution' is usually to switch gears to a trine. Yeah, we can do it. Pfffft, planet schmanet.

[12YearsABlob]

Aug 10, 2017 19:52:28 GMT FruityLlama said:

Gosh do you know me and my sister have mercury square mercury and we do seem to have drifted and also view things very differently. I think we find each other annoying. I find her antagonistic and a tad self absorbed (her mercury in leo). She probably finds me opinionated and rigid.
Her saturn is also on my moon. She has always been cold towards me....i mean she is cold anyway but I find it unnerving and offensive. We also have otherwise alright synastry especially in house placements. We are ok really but i just dont think she likes me at all haha. She has natal pluto in 3rd so was always tuned that way i guess.

I find moon incompatibility difficult too but they can be overcome with time. I dont have any advice but will think on it.

Omg, you're kidding! One of my closest friends has Leo mercury square my merc/mars and her Saturn's on my moon. Talk about an unpleasant combo.
I feel ya. <3
 
Where's your mercury, if you don't mind my asking?

And yeah - moon incompatibility doesn't seem as grating to me either.

[FruityLlama]

Hey @12yearsablob !
How uncanny! My mercury is at 24 deg Taurus ^_^