Mercury square synastry/composite- are you irritated?

[FruityLlama]

Hello all, 

Just wondering today about what aspects you think or have experienced as annoying with someone? As in, what aspects do you feel reflect irritation with one another (or even if its just one sided?).

I've done some reading up and harsh Mercury aspects are considered to create annoyance. Do you agree?

I suppose it depends on you as a person too and whether you are easily irritable. I'm fairly laid back generally, but certain situations or behaviours aggravate the hell out of me. As such there are one or two people in my astro database that i find so annoying that that is kind of how I define the relationship, which is such a shame. Here are our aspects:

A)
My Mars square their Mercury 0*
My Mars square their Sun 4*
Mercuries conjunct 4*

We don't have a lot of personal planet contact either except sun conj. sun.

This person, I feel, is a bit too controlling at times. Don't know what aspect or pattern would reflect this in this synastry, but perhaps the Pluto opp. Mercury we have too?

Composite Mercury opp. Jupiter and Pluto, no other aspects.

B)
Family member. Don't know if I'm annoyed by them but I get the impression I annoy them so I keep a distance now:
Luminaries squaring each other
Mercuries square each other
Their saturn conjunct my luminaries
My Uranus opp. their luminaries
Mars-Merc hard DW (conj. and semisquare)

Composite Mercury square Saturn, no other aspects (apart from bQ Pluto).

C)
Ok this is my partner, we wind each other up quite often.
Luminaries squaring and inconjuncting each other
Mercuries widely square each other
My mercury square his Saturn
In the composite we have Mercury opp Neptune but we also have it sextile Mars, semisextile Saturn and trine Pluto. Obviously, it's a deeper relationship than A and B but still, I think the difference astrologically is that we have some positive Mercury aspects in the composite which helps whereas the other two, we just have the one harsh Mercury aspect. Being the composite, that's how our Mercury synastry is felt in A and B- the one harsh aspect aspect is understandably annoying because it stands out, I guess.

[FruityLlama]

Will add synastry wheels too actually, it's probably easier to look at than a list of aspects.

But I wonder, do these irritable aspects show up in synastries with people who don't get on your nerves? If so, do you think pleasant luminary aspects lessen the effects? I consider conjunctions between luminaries quite pleasant.


Just looking at other synastries between different people here and I'm noticing Mercury inconj. Mars keeps popping up, with the mars person seeming to be the one more annoyed.

[lumina]

FruityLlama

"This person, I feel, is a bit too controlling at times."
This makes me think of Mercury-Pluto (or even Mercury-SAturn) more than anything ahving to do with Mars. 
The Mercury-Pluto is a dominant theme, too. You have it in synastry AND composite. Actually is there a DW in the synastry? Even at wide orbs? 

Mercury-Mars I imagine to be potentially very annoying, irritating, and Sun-Mars, there is a conflict between the two Yang-energies, pulling into different direction. Unless channelled in exhausting physical activity (including bedroomathletics), people can really annoy each other. but on a different level. More like the energies and actions are cause of the annoyance, but without the verbal/ mental aspect if Mercury is at play. 

However having said that P`s best friend, whom I have been having quite a bit contact with especially in the last year, has his Mercury in Pisces squaring my Mars by about 3-4 degrees. I do not feel annoyed a littlbe bit by him, he has an exciting way of thinking and in fact spurs my own talking/ thinking. Actually I just wondered about how easily we slip into a bit of vulgar verbal expressions and thinking, but in a very casual detached way. We do get each other quite well though, even though at times it might be a bit much. It is also clear that I sort of "monopolize" his attention, without really intending to. It`s just like it is. He is more curious about what I have to say or what I think about things than other people. Though it is also a bit fluctuating, but I can deal well with those flucuations in this case. So that would be a case where I do not experience that aspect as irritating or annoying. 

However his Mercury is also trine my Uranus exactly and currently conjunct my pr Venus. 

Additionally our composite has a wide conjunction of Mercury at 28 Cap and Mars at 3 Aquarius, with Mars being sextile Moon at 1 Sag (very close to my natal Mars and his natal Uranus - oh did I forgot to mention, his Mercury squares Uranus, with Uranus on my Mars, natally?) - also just a curious thing but Draco composite Sun conjuncts composite Mars exactly and Draco composite Mars conjuncts composite Mercury by about 3-4 degrees. And Draco composite Venus conjuncts composite Mars by 3 degrees as well. 

Also of course we do not spend a lot of time with each other in direct contact and certainly do not live together, so I could imagine that aspect could manifest more difficult in closer connections. 

[lumina]

Apr 4, 2020 12:31:35 GMT FruityLlama said:

Just looking at other synastries between different people here and I'm noticing Mercury inconj. Mars keeps popping up, with the mars person seeming to be the one more annoyed.

Interesting observation, but I could imagine this. 
Well I am not a fan of one-legged-inconjuncts (a yod might be different), they are just irritating enough to be a real annoyance, but possibly not outright tensed enough to work towards a resolution cooperatively. It is almost like one person accuses the other of doing it "on purpose", having those incomprehensible behaviours that do not make any sense (to the one person) and are just aiming to be an annoyance. In short, usually inconjuncting planets have a really hard time to come to a compromise (a true understanding might actually be out of reach, but well there is always a possibility to learn acceptance of the other person`s way of being, even if one cannot understand it, humour is probably a good way to deal with it):

[12YearsABlob]

Apr 4, 2020 14:46:46 GMT lumina said:

Mercury-Mars I imagine to be potentially very annoying, irritating, and Sun-Mars, there is a conflict between the two Yang-energies, pulling into different direction. Unless channelled in exhausting physical activity (including bedroomathletics), people can really annoy each other. but on a different level.

Yeah, that's been true for me. People whose Mars makes hard aspects to my Sun are unnecessarily aggressive/competitive with me. And two of those signs are generally seen as peaceful, even timid. But with me, suddenly they find their pushy side, lol.

Apr 4, 2020 14:46:46 GMT lumina said:

Also of course we do not spend a lot of time with each other in direct contact and certainly do not live together, so I could imagine that aspect could manifest more difficult in closer connections. 

Yep..! It's probably different at close quarters.

[12YearsABlob]

FruityLlama, I agree with lumina that it might be Pluto/Saturn that are "controlling", and mercury-mercury or mercury-mars squares can be grating. On the plus side, (IMO), Mercury-Mercury squares can teach each other different perspectives, if both are willing; Mercury-Mars squares can result in a LOT of communication. Like you never run out of things to talk about. Of course, that includes a lot of squabbling - but both are "quick" planets. So, the arguments can also blow over quickly (unless either party has Pluto/Saturn afflictions).

[FruityLlama]

lumina,

We do have a Mercury-Pluto DW opposition, the other is a 9deg orb. We are only a year apart and share the same mercury sign, so we share the Mercury opp. Pluto natally too. Mine is a slightly closer orb natally. I guess there might be a life lesson there. Nice to know hard Mercury- Mars aspects aren't always bad though.

Just out of interest, what do you both think about semi-sextiles in this case? Would this aspect between Mercury and Mars be aggravating?

12YearsABlob

Yes it makes sense those outer planets would lend a more controlling flavour. In the synastry with my family member, their Saturn on my luminaries feels cold and rejecting of my actual persona, whereas with mercury it's definitely more like "I don't like your thinking". Coupled with the mars to luminaries, it makes sense they would reject my style of doing things. This person is the backseat driver I mentioned before on other threads, which I find funny with my mars making those aspects to them.

But like you said, given that they are quick planets, I can't say I'm really that annoyed any more, but at the time it upset me. I suppose this thread makes it seem like I am still upset haha but really I think you get used to certain energies don't you and just get on with it.
The mercury-mercury square I share with my family member does have some plus sides as they do provide a different perspective on things and I appreciate that- it's good to have an open mind of course.

[lumina]

FruityLlama

as of now I do not think semisextiles makes themselves felt very much, unless the planets aspect other planets as well, then there mgiht be a certain disbalance visible. For example I have Venus semisextile Mars natally, so a planet might trine my Venus but square my Mars or vice versa, and then I notice it. On its own not so much.

Possibly there is some growthpotential here, like one planet can learn from the other.

[12YearsABlob]

Oh, it's completely fine to still be annoyed, FruityLlama . Any synastry aspect is like an ongoing transit, as they say.. So you can't really escape the annoyance. Plus, their Saturn on your personal planets (as I mentioned, Saturn/Pluto make it harder to let go of bad feelings).

Personally, I find a mercury-mercury square to be one of the most frustrating aspects in synastry (because of the role of mercury in my chart). I feel like I cannot get through to them. My old best friend and I had this, and it was...challenging.

[12YearsABlob]

Apr 4, 2020 16:07:48 GMT FruityLlama said:

Just out of interest, what do you both think about semi-sextiles in this case? Would this aspect between Mercury and Mars be aggravating?

Umm, not exactly aggravating, but requiring adjustment -- feeling a little out of step at first. Semi-sextiles can be good for cooperation later in the game, IMO. But they're not very loud aspects unless they're part of another geometric configuration. To me, they seem like those little adjustments you make in a relationship once you're past the honeymoon phase.

Are they aggravating to you in this case? It might be the nature of the planets involved, and other synastry aspects that hook into this. For Mars, I imagine a semi-sextile is like someone needling you in small doses, albeit quite often. That might indeed be aggravating.. What does this synastry look and feel like?

[vg]

An ex and i had the square - he was one of the sweetest people in the world, but when we were chatting he would talk forever where sometimes i wanted the shorter version. I didn't find him annoying to be honest but sometimes i just wanted him to get to the point.

I have mercury square mercury with a relative. They have it in Gemini . It's a bit wide i guess but their mercury also conjuncts my moon. I found them annoying sometimes not really in the sense of their style of communicating(I actually liked that) but more of when they were communicating(Sometimes it would be in the middle of something).

My bf and his ex - he told me they had understanding differences and were always arguing. They have him(merc rx conjunct sun) opposite her(mercury conj mars)

Pls dont quote

[FruityLlama]

12YearsABlob,

Oh well I don't have the semi-sextiles with person A, I was looking at a different synastry in which I have a few semi-sextiles with but they don't annoy me or anything.

The synastry with person A can sometimes feel competitive- it's like you said when Mars squares the Sun...I am the Mars and there is something that makes me feel like I should always be levelling up in some way. I think that comes from the feeling that they are (seemingly) always trying to assert themselves and trying to "teach" me things....which is flipping annoying given that I'm only a year younger!

It's a silly example really but one that outlines this quite well is this; One instance where I was driving them home after work, we had to take a detour due to construction or something. The detour took us through the town centre, through the high street. It's a route I take to get to my own home afterwards and regardless of whether I drop A off beforehand- I know it verrrrry well. They still had the audacity to instruct me on every single thing, directing me and even telling me the speed limit!! That got under my wick, I'll be honest. I even told them, hey, I know, I drive this route every day! They acknowledged this but carried on anyway and I just thought....can't be bothered now, you're making me feel like an idiot!
I feel like that anecdote probably reflects a few planetary influences there quite well. Our conversations generally make me feel like I'm in the presence of a wannabe teacher, and I'm sure it's probably just them trying to help. When I first met them, I had just moved to the area and new to driving so at first I really appreciated all this, but now I'm starting to see it in a different light. However, with the constant nagging on that plus general life stuff, the annoyance is sometimes coupled with some sort of anxiety, especially when driving.
Sun sq. Mars in fixed signs probably comes out as particularly competitive as I think deep down we both think we know best.

[FruityLlama]

vg

Thanks for your reply! Did you have the merc-merc square with your ex?

[vg]

FruityLlama - yes we also had moon square moon.

[anela]

I have Mercury conjunct Mercury with S. Mars signs trine, Mars sextile his Sun/Moon. His Mars is widely sextile my Sun, but at the beginning of Cancer, along with his Saturn.

My sister has Mercury square my Mercury. We aren't speaking.

[enneline]

from the top of my head i can only remember one mercury sq right now: my mercury in leo in 1st squares his venus in taurus in 6h. Wohoo, sooo many misunderstandings, really huge misunderstandings that hurt feelings especially regarding values and dealing with others. A friendship or relationship needs to have quite some positive aspects to balance this out

[Deleted]

This is a great thread.

I tend to argue a lot with my younger son even is it a difference of opinion about general things. He is the one who finds me irritating.
His Mars squares my Asc - he is irritated by my very presence!
His Mars is also conjunct my MC.
But we have trines between luminaries and with Saturn.
My Mercury is square his Neptune.

Composite
Uranus inconjunct Moon
Moon square NN