Nodes and their dispositors & Gem/Sag axis (@LeeLoo)
Mar 12, 2017 18:26:35 GMT
Ava, Doux, and 1 more like this
Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2017 18:26:35 GMT
I have recently been to a workshop by a Romanian astrologer/therapist on this subject. One of my friends attended all her workshops about Nodes and was so excited that she recommended I attend this one, given that my NN is in Gemini. Her take on Nodes is a bit different than what I am used to, meaning she doesn't see the SN necessarily as something to "leave behind", but rather as a treasure chest who can be integrated via its dispositor - same with the NN. She sort of pays more attention to dispositors than the sign/house the Nodes are, meaning they are the "final destination" to her, or something like that, from what I understand. She also likes to integrate the info from the NN/SN and their rulers instead of seeing them as separate - and opposite - entities, into a general direction of one's life. I wanted to ask all of you if you're familiar with this mode of thinking about Nodes and what your thoughts on the matter are.
She asked us questions about our biggest challenges in life. There were 7 people with NN in Gemini and only 2 with NN in Sag at the workshop. Most of them, especially the Gemini NN ones, complained about disconnection from others and during the exercises it was revealed that we're also pretty disconnected from our emotions. This is the axis of knowledge and we're the people most prone to rationalisations of our emotional states. For those who don't know much psychology, that's a coping mechanism, a survival tool, it helped us get out of traumatic experiences (when the heart hurt too much, we got in our heads) but now it's a sabotaging mechanism because it prevents us from truly accessing our emotions. She worked with a few people and regressed them to the age when they felt that first disconnection - for most it was 1.5-3 years old. ALL of them (myself included, I refused to work at all lol) were reluctant to go back to that place and FEEL the pain again. They wanted to have an intellectual discussion about it, but NOT go back to their childhoods and feel those bewildering emotions again. My own therapist does this to me all the time and each time she regresses me I roll my eyes - do I *have* to?! Can't we just talk about it instead?? She always says it's my choice, but it's the only way to truly heal. *rolls eyes again* At the workshop I actually felt quite angry, it felt like a waste of time, especially since I wasn't going to do the work - just give us the gist of the Nodes already, not the emotional crap! lmao The astrologer is a Cancer with Pisces NN in the 8th - it wasn't gonna happen! lol But towards the end I had a breakthrough. I realised I am screwed haha.
The people with NN in Gemini, and the one with NN in Sag that begrudgedly did the work complained or had difficulties with the following issues (I feel the same):
-isolation from others, disconnection
-feeling unsafe in their early environments
-lies and secrets
-injustice
-being robbed of their childhoods, having to parent their parents, growing up too soon
-not being believed or falsely accused of things
-trust/distrust as well as faith/lack of
-self-expression and being misunderstood
-feeling strongly about rules and doing what's right (especially when others don't do the same, see injustice).
I can see how some of these relate to this axis, but not others, which seem more like universal to me. Perhaps it was our interpretation that made the difference.
I have no idea how the other workshops went like, but from what I understand this was the longest ever (we stayed about 1.5 h more than we should have lol we couldn't stop talking). I got a sense of belonging in a way, I understood that my issues are common to other people too, that they struggled just like I did with them and it made me feel empathetic and peaceful, like I belonged somewhere... Quite a different feeling than the one I started the workshop with!
I realised I'm pretty much screwed because I don't really have a very emotional chart, my only water planet is Saturn looool and my water houses are all empty unless we count Chiron in the 4th. My Moon is in Sag, actually conjunct SN, as well as Neptune and the GC. I asked the astrologer about that, and told her I feel a clear unbalance between my SN and my NN (I have 4 Sag planets for goodness' sake! NO Gemini whatsoever) and that I feel pulled towards the SN much more than the NN. She said the unbalance is not real and the planets on my SN are my (huge) potential to help me integrate my North Node. Basically, she feels that is the challenge - integrating the North Node, which feels kinda foreign to us, and the way to do that is through the SN and the rulers.
She asked us questions about our biggest challenges in life. There were 7 people with NN in Gemini and only 2 with NN in Sag at the workshop. Most of them, especially the Gemini NN ones, complained about disconnection from others and during the exercises it was revealed that we're also pretty disconnected from our emotions. This is the axis of knowledge and we're the people most prone to rationalisations of our emotional states. For those who don't know much psychology, that's a coping mechanism, a survival tool, it helped us get out of traumatic experiences (when the heart hurt too much, we got in our heads) but now it's a sabotaging mechanism because it prevents us from truly accessing our emotions. She worked with a few people and regressed them to the age when they felt that first disconnection - for most it was 1.5-3 years old. ALL of them (myself included, I refused to work at all lol) were reluctant to go back to that place and FEEL the pain again. They wanted to have an intellectual discussion about it, but NOT go back to their childhoods and feel those bewildering emotions again. My own therapist does this to me all the time and each time she regresses me I roll my eyes - do I *have* to?! Can't we just talk about it instead?? She always says it's my choice, but it's the only way to truly heal. *rolls eyes again* At the workshop I actually felt quite angry, it felt like a waste of time, especially since I wasn't going to do the work - just give us the gist of the Nodes already, not the emotional crap! lmao The astrologer is a Cancer with Pisces NN in the 8th - it wasn't gonna happen! lol But towards the end I had a breakthrough. I realised I am screwed haha.
The people with NN in Gemini, and the one with NN in Sag that begrudgedly did the work complained or had difficulties with the following issues (I feel the same):
-isolation from others, disconnection
-feeling unsafe in their early environments
-lies and secrets
-injustice
-being robbed of their childhoods, having to parent their parents, growing up too soon
-not being believed or falsely accused of things
-trust/distrust as well as faith/lack of
-self-expression and being misunderstood
-feeling strongly about rules and doing what's right (especially when others don't do the same, see injustice).
I can see how some of these relate to this axis, but not others, which seem more like universal to me. Perhaps it was our interpretation that made the difference.
I have no idea how the other workshops went like, but from what I understand this was the longest ever (we stayed about 1.5 h more than we should have lol we couldn't stop talking). I got a sense of belonging in a way, I understood that my issues are common to other people too, that they struggled just like I did with them and it made me feel empathetic and peaceful, like I belonged somewhere... Quite a different feeling than the one I started the workshop with!
I realised I'm pretty much screwed because I don't really have a very emotional chart, my only water planet is Saturn looool and my water houses are all empty unless we count Chiron in the 4th. My Moon is in Sag, actually conjunct SN, as well as Neptune and the GC. I asked the astrologer about that, and told her I feel a clear unbalance between my SN and my NN (I have 4 Sag planets for goodness' sake! NO Gemini whatsoever) and that I feel pulled towards the SN much more than the NN. She said the unbalance is not real and the planets on my SN are my (huge) potential to help me integrate my North Node. Basically, she feels that is the challenge - integrating the North Node, which feels kinda foreign to us, and the way to do that is through the SN and the rulers.
