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Post by Ava on Feb 18, 2018 22:56:37 GMT
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds contempt.
🤔
Do you suppose there are any astrological markers to help us gauge how two people will fare together, depending on how frequently and deeply they interact? Can we use planets to build a sort of yardstick, measuring the ideal distance?
For instance, a couple with Venus-Neptune in composite might like each other more when they spend less time together (time apart feeds the imagination) while Venus-Saturn needs a lot of integration and boots-on-the-ground dating in order to feel right about each other?
I've wondered about this a long time but it's hard to phrase and maybe weird to ask.
I do think Neptune likes its space. Don't be around each other allllll the time, that leaves no room for magic.
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Feb 19, 2018 3:55:17 GMT
Neptune & Uranus were the first things that came to mind when I read this. Neptunian distance might not necessarily involve a *need* for freedom so much as, a license to daydream (about the same person, even - not about anybody else). Uranian freedom is more like "I *need* to be able to pack my bags n leave at a moment's notice and you can't get mad". They need to know they have the option - they may or may not use it. But knowing their personal freedom is intact, is important. Earth venus needs proximity - I'll just throw that in there.  |
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Post by Ava on Feb 19, 2018 18:03:10 GMT
Thank you, 12YearsABlob ! (Again...) You put clarity into my question, much appreciated. And I agree with you! *edit - trying not to overcomplicate --- Day-to-day comfort at close range - a random sampling of opinions Aspects that support it: - Friendly angle synastry - Gentle moon/Mars aspects - Mars/Mars conjunctions and soft aspects - Venus/Uranus soft aspects - Planets conjunct south node - Prominent Venus/Libra/7H Aspects that work against it: - Mars/Uranus in a bad mix with Mars/Uranus - Saturn in the wrong place - Sun square Saturn or Uranus in composite Aspects that make people squirmy (need to be closer, then need distance, hair-trigger reactions, possibly all out-neurotic): - Most aspects, really (modern life! hmph) - Moon or Venus clashing with Mars and Pluto - Troubled water - Mercury square Pluto in composite Aspects that seem to maintain distance, with curiosity ("what is this?") and respect: - Conjunctions to NN in synastry or composite |
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Feb 19, 2018 19:50:37 GMT
Thanks, Ava ..! That's interesting^. I'll be back to add some (purely anecdotal). ETA: Btw, you're right about the mars - mars easy aspects. My best friends at work are much older than I - and they don't have much in common with each other either, but we're a grand trine of water mars(es?). Pisces, Cancer and moi. Just naturally gravitate towards each other. |
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Post by lumina on Feb 20, 2018 19:51:26 GMT
ETA: Btw, you're right about the mars - mars easy aspects. My best friends at work are much older than I - and they don't have much in common with each other either, but we're a grand trine of water mars(es?). Pisces, Cancer and moi. Just naturally gravitate towards each other. This reminds me. My aquaintance, Lancelot and me have our Mars-positions trine each other. My Mars: 5 Sag Her Mars: 3 Leo His Mars: 2 Aries (yes I know, their Mars-trine is much closer.  ). Anyway I remember a moment, when we actually tried to say goodbye and leave, when the three of us were standing together, and it was just such a smooth, but sort of sparkly small chat. Well Lancelot seemed a bit surprised, at least he was looking a tad surprised at least at me. lol And he was especially nicely wishing me a pleasant night - somehow that sounded a tad... well he probably was just slipping on his words, fuelled by that weirdly funny dynamic between the three of us. I was actually leaving that group situation a bit earlier and waiting for my aquaintance outside, as I wanted to give her the opportunity to talk to him on her own. But still I just remember how fun that was, though nothing really imnportant was being said, just one word following the other, and well Lancelot looking in particularly at me, as if I was a mystery/ puzzle he couldn`t quite figure out. lol (I suppose it is that strange thing about me, that I am very reserved in public, usually, quiet, even shy, and then suddenly can blurt out with the most trivial profance things and just having fun with communicating nunsense, and my aquaintance is just as sharptongues as I am, so I guess maybe he simply did not expect that. lol) |
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Post by Ava on Feb 21, 2018 4:54:19 GMT
Ah, lovely memories there ^ Lancelot is such a knight in shining armor type.  I really love friendly Mars contacts ~ just too sleepy to elaborate... |
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Post by lumina on Feb 21, 2018 6:21:25 GMT
--- Day-to-day comfort at close range - a random sampling of opinions Aspects that support it: - Friendly angle synastry - Gentle moon/Mars aspects - Mars/Mars conjunctions and soft aspects - Venus/Uranus soft aspects - Planets conjunct south node - Prominent Venus/Libra/7H How about smooth aspects, including the conjunction, between luminaries? |
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Post by lumina on Feb 21, 2018 6:30:21 GMT
Lancelot is such a knight in shining armor type. Yes, and noone dies as beautifully heroically (on stage) like him. Or as I commented on the picture of him my aquaintance put up from the concert 2 days ago: "Fetching. But can he sing?" I guess I would like friendly Mars-synastry, too. Just my chart is apparently composed in a way that it is more inclined to challenging Mars-synastry. Well maybe my sleepy Mars (conjunct Neptune) needs more of a waking-up-aspect usually. lol In the particular case of Mars-Mars-trine, it of course also comes with Mars square my Venus at the same time. So either I get the harmony of Mars with Mars or with Venus, cannot have it both. |
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Post by Ava on Aug 27, 2019 14:26:53 GMT
--- Day-to-day comfort at close range - a random sampling of opinions Aspects that support it: - Friendly angle synastry - Gentle moon/Mars aspects - Mars/Mars conjunctions and soft aspects - Venus/Uranus soft aspects - Planets conjunct south node - Prominent Venus/Libra/7H How about smooth aspects, including the conjunction, between luminaries? I guess it depends? The Secret Language of Relationships gives different opinions for each set of sun-sun conjunctions. For myself, Cap II, the author notes that we probably will not spend a lot of time together. But in this case, emotional closeness seems to exist regardless of time and space. Trust happens fairly quickly. With some couples, time together is needed to feed trust, to keep an eye on each other, to work out relationship difficulties. In my experience, sun conjunct sun affords freedom, where you might come together for pleasure, or you might not...there is no optimal range. For me, my moon conjunct their sun...I guess Pisces is a codependent sign and that's why I've only known married Pisces men, while I was married myself. I guess truthfully I have been curious what that might look like in a relationship. For me, "no way are you ever going to be romantically involved" has not seemed the optimal distance. What do you think? |
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Post by anela on Aug 27, 2019 19:45:54 GMT
I can only think of two men that I know with their Sun conjunct my Moon/Venus. One was a boy I knew when we were kids - his mum was one of my mother's best friends, from her job that she started at sixteen, at Lloyd's Bank. The other women still meet each other every year, and now they toast my mum, every time they do. Anyway, he became more complicated as an adult. He was in love with an American woman (or South American), and she had a daughter. They broke up, because his job took him to different countries, for months at a time, and she didn't want that. They ended up getting back together, and getting married, but I think he cheated on her - just, I don't know what to make of that. This is a guy that my mum wanted me to get together with - he was really sweet when we were kids.
Then there is Joe (not his real name), who is one of my friends online, on a private board that has nothing to do with astrology. He created it as a place for a group of us to get away from a board that was huge, like LL, and had dictator-like mods. He is happily married to an Aries with a Gemini Moon, funnily enough. They are great, stable parents, but they also like to party on various weekends, and as much as I would like to have more fun, Vegas isn't my thing. I like him, and his wife. We agree on a lot of things.
A childhood friend: a Sadge Sun conjunct my NN, Taurus Moon, Scorpio Venus (I think). He could be sooooo sweet. Mum thought he liked me, and I used to get teased about it, but he was involved with a lot of girls, and I wasn't into that. One of my sweetest memories is when we were all supposed to go to a dance in a different town, but I didn't feel like going. It was a beautiful sunny evening, and the others went - he stayed with me, and kept me company. He was one of those who was cute (not my type looks-wise, blonde, blue-eyed), but he was popular because he actually liked girls. He wasn't mean at all.
I can't remember his Mars. As an adult, it seems like I've mostly liked Mars in water men, but there was one Cap Mars/Moon that I felt drawn to. My third house.
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Post by anela on Aug 27, 2019 19:51:23 GMT
Oh, D had Venus in Sagittarius (conjunct my Neptune exactly, and that of the rest of the girls in our year - no wonder!). Mercury/Mars in Scorpio, Jupiter in Pisces. He also has Venus conjunct his NN in Sadge.
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Aug 28, 2019 11:51:37 GMT
For instance, a couple with Venus-Neptune in composite might like each other more when they spend less time together (time apart feeds the imagination) while Venus-Saturn needs a lot of integration and boots-on-the-ground dating in order to feel right about each other? I've wondered about this a long time but it's hard to phrase and maybe weird to ask. I do think Neptune likes its space. Don't be around each other allllll the time, that leaves no room for magic. This made me think about how a combination of Saturn & Neptune would fare.
:edit: It seems to result in a push-pull dynamic, with Saturn trying to bring things back to where they were and Neptune wanting to be free.
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Post by Ava on Aug 28, 2019 14:07:12 GMT
 Why'd you remove the composite? I'm sorry, let me rephrase that: Post the composite again, please? |
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Aug 28, 2019 14:20:09 GMT
^ Sarry, felt funny about it right after. So, this is my composite with a friend:
 Mars square Uranus/Neptune and the nodes
Saturn on the Asc, trine Sun/Merc
^ It's both volatile and weirdly stable. No matter how badly we (it's usually me) try to break apart, somehow we still have something to return to.
Pluto-Ceres on the MC (it was very obvious that we were together everywhere like Mary & her little lamb).
So, here, the Neptune was more about what we were hiding from each other, and our sometimes under-handed plays.
I was concluding that, as conventional wisdom says, the Saturn seems to keep you glued together.
Gotta run now.. Be back later. |
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Post by Ava on Aug 28, 2019 15:32:06 GMT
Thanks for reposting 12YearsABlob, Interesting chart & analysis. Additionally you have Chiron on the DSC there, almost seems like togetherness will bring pain and healing, alternating back and forth? "it was very obvious that we were together everywhere like Mary & her little lamb" Was this sustainable? I mean were you two comfortable spending long periods of time together? Do you miss her, like with heartache, when it's been too long since you've seen each other or talked? Pardon my nosy questions. My ex and I have that Mars square nodes. In our case it's Leo, and it seems like a blinking, flashing light..."What are we doing?" Even if there is no "we," and doing anything is impossible. |
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Aug 29, 2019 12:59:38 GMT
Was this sustainable? I mean were you two comfortable spending long periods of time together? Yep, we wouldn't have done that if we weren't... Might have been a little co-dependent, but mostly the benign kind. Do you miss her, like with heartache, when it's been too long since you've seen each other or talked? Pardon my nosy questions. My ex and I have that Mars square nodes. In our case it's Leo, and it seems like a blinking, flashing light..."What are we doing?" Even if there is no "we," and doing anything is impossible. Not nosy at all, I do miss her - but we're in a different phase now. This new version is different, but to me, it's a miracle there even is a new version. How does your Leo mars square the nodes play out?
Oh - this reminds me, composite squares to the nodes might be about "you need to tackle this before you can move forward (or get anywhere)"? With mars square the nodes - your collective drive as a couple, *what* you do, *how* you do it - if you don't figure those things out, it's not going anywhere. With Sun square the nodes, an even bigger deadlock, the classic "what ARE we and where is this headed" times ten. Your life directions may be fundamentally different and one or both might have to undergo a major upheaval to get together.
Saturn square the nodes - commit or die? Lol... I dunno, just thinking out loud.
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Post by Ava on Aug 29, 2019 16:10:42 GMT
@blindlion - I like how Saturn, in its positive expression, stabilizes and seems to introduce time into the equation, like "We have time to figure this out." It's strange how Saturn can feel warm. 12YearsABlob That just sounds like a great relationship! Who cares if it's codependent, if it's good? Actually I wonder if Virgo suns have a knack for creating codependence, by making themselves practically indispensable. Well all Virgo placements seem to tend towards that, like they (you) are the standard-bearers. As for Mars square nodes, my ex and I could never figure out whether we should be together or not. I guess a certain restlessness had to be dealt with. Mars is conjunct Saturn and I don't know what that means except the issue lasted a long time. With him, I think it should have been "all or nothing" like most normal couples, instead of trying to be in the friendzone for years. Neither of us knew how to let go, though. I mean we tried over and over and then for 20 years and even now I wonder if he's a bit ticked off that I let go yet again. Argh, why even try talking about that... Not done but I have to go do stuff, plus I need to change that subject. Be back later Edit: I meant to say, my ex and I have heavy Pluto synastry/composite, and that's where the "all or nothing" seems to fit in. I guess you can keep a relationship platonic if there is strong Pluto chemistry. But once you act on that, it's like Pandora's box, it's never the same again. |
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Post by Ava on Aug 29, 2019 20:41:32 GMT
12YearsABlob (continued) "With Sun square the nodes, an even bigger deadlock, the classic 'what ARE we and where is this headed' times ten. Your life directions may be fundamentally different and one or both might have to undergo a major upheaval to get together." I actually have this with my father, with the composite sun @ 5 Sag conjunct my Venus and his Saturn, NN @ 5 Virgo. I think we never fully recovered from tr Pluto conjunct composite sun, square comp NN. Everything went haywire ("major upheaval"), and a lot of that is my fault. Back to the OP, certain houses and house overlays seem to call for more time together, more closeness, especially the 2nd, 4th, 8th...and 7th? I think the synastry overlays show what you actually feel like doing, and consciously wish for, while the composite shows what you actually are going to do (the synergy of the relationship might push or pull you in a direction you didn't foresee). There may be no disparity for people whose charts are really focused, but for very-afflicted charts like mine, with the relationship planets in a tangle, and complicated by Neptune, it seems that impulses, reflexes, and the subconscious are more central to the outcome than conscious deliberation and planning. Just musing aloud though.
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Post by anela on Aug 30, 2019 19:32:31 GMT
My dad's NN is conjunct my Moon/Venus/SN, and square my Mars.
My sister's NN is conjunct my Uranus/ascendant. My NN was widely conjunct my Mum's sun. I think my sister's Sun was conjunct my Mum's SN, and my karma was conjunct her NN. I need to check her chart. Sister's SN is conjunct my dad's Sun.
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Post by Ava on Mar 16, 2021 13:45:02 GMT
Love this video
"It's meant to be lived out" she says.
Meaning, once these two bond, it's complex, consuming, and requires a lot of energy. So *optimally* it might be best for a close-knit and committed relationship.
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). 
Why'd you remove the composite?