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Post by enneline on Jun 16, 2018 13:40:42 GMT
i don't have too much experience with that but i do not just personal but by observations.
In synastry: - one aspects the luminaries of the other but not the other way around. I have seen that quite often. For example my friend and i didn't love back guys and when i checked the synastries i saw that our luminaries, were not or hardly aspected (i think our suns were not aspected at all and the sun was the 7h ruler of my friend) but we in turn were aspecting the suns and the moons of the guys pretty well - unaspected venus or mars or luminaries - unaspected 7h ruler - strangely often moon in hard aspects to mars like Alfred Hitchcock and his much hated big crush Tippi Hedren. -> why moon/mars?!
in natal: - neptune (for deception) on prominent places or just in the 1h - Pluto (for obsession) on prominent places or just in the 1h - delusional pisces and/or clingy cancer are prominent in the charts; sometimes even aries, because aries fights - venus in hard aspects to Pluto for obessive behaviour in love - very emphatized 7h: relationships to others are everything When you have several Placements of the mentioned above in your chart, please watch out to not wait for a man for years and/or assuming there is a chance when he keeps not contacting you....i run the danger as well
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Jun 16, 2018 14:41:55 GMT
Exactly! Great description. (It is not even the love-part, more the flesh-and-blood thing. lol=) Mars-Neptune on ASC, Venus square Pluto, Saturn in 8th house - sais it all I guess. Lol. I hear ya. Glad you can relate!
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Post by lumina on Jun 16, 2018 15:23:42 GMT
12YearsABlob I can, though I am not really sure if the term unrequited love applies. Hmm. I don`t know, I guess for most this term is associated with a lot of emotional pain, but I don´t feel like that (well not in the sense of having hopes on a relationship dashed - since I never hope for a relationship, nothing to be dashed really). I guess I am ambivalent on that matter. I do have a tendency to unavailable guys (and them to me, curiously enough), but there is nothing more shocking and startling for me than the insight that my unrequited crushes might actually not be unrequited at all. lol (even if relaitonships are out of the questioon). Always brings up the question for me if I should rather detach myself (not when i tis unrequited, but when the risk comes up it might NOT be. lol) I am weird, Aqua Moon? What I do have however, is keeping a soft spot in my heart for people.
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Post by 12YearsABlob on Jun 16, 2018 16:53:09 GMT
Sure, I didn't mean it applies to you either. It's a spectrum. And that tendency taken too far - can give rise to the need for such situations. Although the native doesn't realize it. The question often asked is "why don't people love me back?", as opposed to the real question "why do I always pick unavailable guys/girls?" The root of all such things lies with oneself. Again - not a problem for everybody, but whoever is so inclined. There's types of 'avoidant' behaviour too. Not just the avoiding-a-relationship kind - avoiding feelings, avoiding 'attachment' (coz it is an attachment style, after all). Lot of detail there that might be too much for a post, but it's out there if anyone is interested. So, the point of all this was - that, in some cases, 'unrequited' has more to do with the person themselves than their object of affection. That's all I'm saying... Plus, like clementine says, it may not be 'unrequited' 100% - but the desires may be different, the timing might be off, etc.
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Post by lumina on Jun 16, 2018 17:00:01 GMT
12YearsABlob I totally agree with you! Just was sort of asking myself, if I am an unrequited-love-type, but somehow, as you put it, its a spectrum, and I clearly have an avoidant-attachment-style - at least to a degree. Though if you ask me, I`ve changed that a lot in the recent years, but of course it is still there. Interestingly I was coming across one of my old astrology books, that is delving into this matter, well about the ambivalent relationship style mostly, it is a german book with the title "Come closer, go away" which of course highly spoke to me when I saw it. lol I think what is important to keep in mind though is that unrequited love, as you say, starts with our own psyche most (if not all) of the time. Well if someone comes across this once in their life, then maybe not so much, but if it happens repeatedly it seems to indicate a certain pattern at the base of it, and to change it, one would need to change their own relating pattern. And yes, unrequited does not equal unequited in all cases. there might be a sliding scale involved.
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Post by clementine on Jun 16, 2018 17:10:20 GMT
I also think angles/houses and transits play a huge factor. If your personal planets and luminaries are lighting up my 4th and 8th house, I'm feeling you strongly—but my planets may just be in your 11th and 3rd. Transit-wise, I may be ready for the transformations of a big love (or a big heartbreak), while you're focused elsewhere.
The more synastry charts I do for friends and clients, the more convinced I am that there is more compatibility between people than we seem to think—people can make the most unlikely synastry work for them long enough to have significant relationships, and others may never get something off the ground even with great synastry and a lot of patience. On a mundane level, there are so many things that can block requited love: other relationships, physical distance, insecurities, hangups about how you think your "perfect mate" should look or act, and all kinds of life drama that can distract you from showing up in intimacy. On an esoteric level, it's fascinating how commitment can also be fear (Saturn), lust can also be disgust (Mars), and affection can also be laziness (Venus). Whatever the chart indicators might be for unrequited love, I think the factors we can't see are probably bigger: How do you handle the Saturn fears this relationship brings up? How does he or she handle them? Are you both ready to plunge into the Martian intensity together? Do you have enough Venusian affection, or too much in a way that will dampen the desire to push each other and transform the relationship?
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