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Post by the89freespirit on Aug 1, 2017 3:54:19 GMT
So, I do think that the things that really get on our nerves and under our skin can be traced back to our Mars. Care to share? I have Mars in Virgo and in the 7th. I must admit that nobody has pet peeves quite like a Virgo Mars. We get very irritable and snappy when we're mad. For me, a lot of that does have to do with other people (7th House) and if I think they're doing something that either makes no sense or shows a lack of consideration on their part. So, unless I'm living with someone really neat and considerate, I do find myself irritated at many little things they do. Why would you take out the trash and not put another trash-bag in the can? In what world does that make sense? Why would you cook and not think to clean the counter? Hate to say it but I can be a pretty grouchy roommate. And these things may sound petty but, really, they say a lot to me about how the person and how they go about their relationships. Also, I've always said that I will take a direct "no" over a passive-aggressive or dishonest "yes" any day of the week. I really hate when people tell me what they think I want to hear and when that leads to flakiness. Like, don't avoid my texts. Just say no! Personally, I am quite unpredictable but I'm upfront about it, at the same time. It's alright to change your mind or not be able to do what you thought you would. But, don't avoid me or lie to me about it. So, that definitely does play into the Mars in the 7th House thing. It really bothers me when people can't own up to the things they do.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 15:17:58 GMT
As a fellow mutable Mars its jarring how much I relate to the two above posts My Mars is really heavily aspected in my chart and also apart of a tight Vertex/DSC/Priapus conjunction so everything I was thinking about was more in line with how the aspects flavor my Mars. Now I'm trying to isolate what bothers me that is distinctly Piscean. I would say that I hate it when people "test me" socially to see how much of a spine I really have. You know - people who want to assert their dominance and need to suss out who they can lord over and who they can't. It bugs the hell out of me when these situations occur, mostly because I can't stand unnecessary rudeness and situations like this make me have to be someone I'm not (rude, aggressive, in-your-face) solely so I don't have to suffer underneath the thumb of this person for the rest of our social interactions. These are things I had to learn the hard way in life. Intentions. The notion of intentions. I rarely have "intentions" - I'm just existing in the world as "me" and going with the flow, not trying to manipulate situations in my favor. When someone demands to state what my "intentions" are, I feel flummoxed because I have none. This probably goes hand in hand with Faith stating she doesn't like black and white in situations. I do best when roles (such as leadership, comic relief, helping hand etc) are always in flux rather than being assigned to something static. I feel suffocated and oppressed when a situation calls for me to always be one specific way. When people try to psychoanalyze me and "get into my head". Asking about my childhood etc with their shifty intentions. Or they demand I share something about my inner life and when I finally relent, they have a reaction that is not understanding/unconditional in spite of the fact the situation would require that socially. Demands. One note/one dimensional trains of thought. Environments that don't promote creativity. Social situations that are probing and invasive. 9 to 5 jobs. Retail. People that contradict me just for the sake of being a contrarian even though it does nothing to add to the growth of conversation whatsoever and only bolsters up their illusion of dominance. I would love to know the chart of the person who created this because it is SO Pisces Mars
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Post by Violets on Aug 1, 2017 15:53:43 GMT
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Post by Violets on Aug 1, 2017 16:02:21 GMT
Oh, I had a response here, but it seemed so petty that I deleted it.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 16:11:41 GMT
Violets Isn't it just the best?? Though I'm sure a good amount of people would find that situation to be their worst nightmare I got a chance to read your response and I didn't think it was petty at all. It was the perfect essence of Capricorn captured in a post!
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Post by lumina on Aug 1, 2017 16:21:47 GMT
the89freespirithaha, we would drive each other right out of our minds! Well we could never live together, that is for sure. Honestly speaking I am a slob. Well occasionally I break out into burts of cleaning,like really cleaning with steam and the things (been doing that all day today with my bathroom, including cleaning every drain and so on, so really thoroughly). Usually however I let it slide, not to a catastropic level (though my mom begs to differ. ), but I just have zero interest in cleaning, it doesn`t inspire me. Though once I actually get doing it, it is weirdly meditative and mentally relaxing. lol My mom (who has Venus and Mars conjunct in Virgo and Moon in Virgo as well, so you can imagine our fights and discussions about this subject. ) asks me if I do not SEE if there is dust or a need to put things away. But it`s not that I don`t really see it, I just don`t care that much (until I get this burst of cleaning just everything), and am great in just putting it off my mind and think of something more interesting. Which reminds me when it stops raining, I should clean my windows. Well tomorrow I will first get to steam-clean my kitchen cabinets and floor - well it is actually pretty clean as I had left for a trip last week, and knowing my mom would step into the warzone that is my appartment (our personal warzone, if it is not food. lol), I of course cleaned it pretty thoroughly before leaving. Still it cannot harm to steamclean it tomorrow, for it to even eliminate anything that might not be directly visible, it just gets even cleaner doing that. However I do tend to instantly put another bag into the trash-bin after having brought out the trash, cause I will use the bin anyway, so I can put the bag in there rightaway. Of course I´ve also now and then let the trash pile up a bit, so I had to really balance the bin to get it safely outside, without pouring it on the floor (cause I really did not want to clean it again) - well at least I´ve been training my balancing skills this way. lol Nah seriously, I really wish I was more like my mom in that regard, because when I get down cleaning and the appartment is really shining, I just become aware as how comfortable and beautiful my home is. I usually don`t have eyes for it really, as my mind is occupied with so many other things. However, I do think one of my pet peeves might be that I really don`t like it if my mom is going on about how I should do this and that in my appartment and please Now, and exactly the way she wants it, cause only she knows how to put away the dishes in an orderly way. lol It`s really symptomatic I think, I get prickly and ultra defensive and passive aggressive when people try to push their "method operandi" onto me (In any area of life, cleaning was just an example) claiming it is the ONLY one of value (and thereby devaluing pretty much everything I do myself. lol cause chances are I am doing these things differently). My Mars in Sag in 12th house conjunct Neptune on the ASC. I also cannot deal with narrowmindedness. At all. and this: My way is the only right way. I feel like they are challenging to go onto a crusade to prove to them the opposite. lol And also people who are all about details, but have no conception of the bigger picture, well I do think they got their priorities wrong. though I am aware that I do need to learn to care more about those details (including the boring stuff like cleaning or other chores or even doing my paperwork. Well I am full of intention to finally get around and bringing order into my bureau, over the next week or so (It will be a lot of work, as I am intending to throw a lot of old stuff away, but for that I have to go through all of it) - well maybe I am having the best chance now that my progressed Moon is in Virgo. lol and pr Mars in Capricorn conjunct my Venus, which rules my 5th and 10th, but also my 6th house. So I should be able to bring some more order and structure into that place (and thereby of course doing some sort of mental cleansing as well, it always goes hand in hand).
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Post by anela on Aug 1, 2017 16:41:41 GMT
athena You're Mars in Pisces, too? I could really relate to someone prodding you to talk about something, and then reacting in a negative way. I hate that. Now that I spill regularly, they usually want me to shut up. Intentions, too. If I have any kind of intention, I make it known. Actually, I can relate to your whole post. I have trouble thinking of pet peeves, unless I'm in a really bad mood, and then I could list things all day. I think that's a peeve about my Mars: I'm really easygoing, and accepting, until I hit a wall, and then I'm not. I'll take so much, and then reach a point where I'm suddenly realizing that someone has bad points, and how dare they go on about mine, when they have their own to fix? Like my aunt projecting onto me. Before I reach that point, I just cry and feel bad about a situation, and try to make it right, or hate myself. This is one of the times I don't like my own Mars - since it rules my Sun. I want to be tougher. I was told the other day, that everyone's scared of me. Someone told me that my cousin has a drinking problem, and that she might have been drinking the other night, but I decided if everyone's scared of me (for whatever reason - because I defend myself?) then I'll just earn the rumour. When I'm calmer, I'm not in the mood to do so. Normally, I'm an "everybody makes mistakes, it's okay" person. I do have peeves, and I'll try to list them, but I find I usually end up recognizing myself in the peeves. Like I can talk too loud, I'm messy, I can be a real Eeyore when it comes to my own life (now) but really positive for someone else and their life.
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Post by anela on Aug 1, 2017 16:45:59 GMT
I love it when other people admit to being messy. I feel less alone in the world. I used to love doing the dishes. I love water, and bubbles in the water, and I would have solutions for things come to me as I was doing them (or occasionally, comebacks to people, if there was a discussion/argument going on - although that's usually a waste of time). I used to tidy up once a week, laundry, cleaning, making the bed once or twice a week, and so on.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 16:51:08 GMT
anela I am! I also can't stand it when people project onto me. Unfortunately I've found that Pisces placements make a wonderful canvas for people's paranoia induced projections.. Do you have a strongly placed Sun? I wonder if your family is picking up on your strong Aries individuality rather that your softer, more lunar/venusian qualities?
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Post by lumina on Aug 1, 2017 17:33:09 GMT
I love it when other people admit to being messy. I feel less alone in the world. I used to love doing the dishes. I love water, and bubbles in the water, and I would have solutions for things come to me as I was doing them (or occasionally, comebacks to people, if there was a discussion/argument going on - although that's usually a waste of time). Same here!
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Post by the89freespirit on Aug 1, 2017 17:38:25 GMT
Hey, great responses, everyone! AvaIt's interesting that you've had such strong relationships with Virgo Mars people throughout your life! Mars in Virgo and Mars in Gemini make quite a pair. I have an old friend with Gemini Mars and I do regularly have to snap her back into focus. I can follow her train of thought easily and there are quite a few placements in my chart that make me full of random thoughts and cause me to bounce all over the place. But, at the same time, that earthy Virgo influence keeps me centered in the midst of my chaos. Gemini Mars can just be sheer chaos, especially with yours being in the 11th! It's said that Mars in Virgo people are very good for Mars in Gemini people because we can stop you guys from being too scattered. We're a bit scattered ourselves but just in a more anxious way of "I need to do this and I forgot to do that and this hasn't gotten done and ahhh!" There are sometimes where it gets more complicated for me because I end up going against what I've set out to do and only making things more chaotic for myself. But, my Mars is trine Uranus and Neptune, so that has an effect. Also, I am sure your particular Mars makes you very resistant to being pinned down and labeled. Gemini placements, in general, have a hard time being tied down to one option because what about the other one? And with it being your Mars, that's how you assert yourself and since it's in your 11th, you are even more contradictory. It seems like just when someone thinks they've got you figured out, you feel compelled to prove to them that there is more to you than that. athenaYour response sounds like such a Pisces Mars thing to say! Yes, you would hate feeling like you always have to clarify every little thing and make your intentions known all of the time. I guess that's why Pisces is Virgo's opposite because, conversely, I do get kind of irritated when I feel like there is not enough clarity or like we're "speaking in code", as I sometimes say. Even though I do have a strong Neptune influence (especially with it trine my Mars), I have my Virgo Mars conjunct my Mercury. So, while I do sometimes send out my own little subliminal messages (usually whenever I'm working something out internally that I don't want someone else to intrude on), I prefer very direct and specific kinds of communication, for the most part. That kind of goes back to what I was saying in my original post. Since the conjunction's in my 7th, I do really expect other people to say what they mean. But, you do make a good point in that Pisces often does not know what it means or what its intentions are. I've had to learn that about certain Pisces-influenced people in my life. I want them to just get to the point but they are often trying to figure out the point themselves, which is why they can just take me in circles or not even say what's really going on with them. I'd like to say that I can go with the flow fairly well, even though Virgo Mars isn't known for that. But, Virgo is still Mutable. So, it is still adaptable. I guess it's just adaptable and flexible in a very sensible way. I don't mind us changing the time that we're supposed to meet for lunch or something. As long as there's still a clear idea of what's happening and for good reason, I can roll with the punches well. But, when things start not making sense or I don't really know what we're doing, that's when my patience can run low. luminaYour story about your mother is funny because we do clearly share those Virgo traits. I have gotten more relaxed about it as time has gone on because I realize that a) you can't really change people and the way they live and b) it's often just unneeded stress. Neptune's transit through Pisces, which has been opposing my stellium for years, has relaxed much of my anal-retentive Virgo side. But, it is still there. I just often have to remind myself to take a breath, count to ten, let it go because it doesn't matter too much. However, it does still matter. I have said to myself before that one of my dreams in life is to be able to afford to live alone so I can have my place exactly the way that I like it. I also remember when I went to college and had to start living with slobs. My Venus is in Virgo, too, and rules my Nadir, so I was always used to a very tidy home growing up. It was a real culture shock to have to adjust to other people's living habits and there were times where I would get seriously pissed off at my roommates over certain things in our apartment. I met my best friend when we became roommates and we lived together for two years. I got along with him so much better once we didn't have to live together anymore, haha. I also like to think that even though I do have a strong eye for all of these details and can get obsessed with them, I remain aware of the bigger picture, at the same time. In fact, there is a side to me that is downright careless but I guess that's just whenever I'm operating outside of what I consider my sense of order or when I feel like something is not that important.
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Post by lumina on Aug 1, 2017 18:03:17 GMT
the89freespirit I can absolutely understand about the shock-experience of having to adapt to other people`s way of living. I am not really sure I could ever really live with anybody else to be honest. I need my sacred space I guess. Though you never know. people change. I am not living with my mom, so she basically is trying to run my appartment even though we do not share it, however it might be more difficult because we are direct neighbours. But then again even when I was living away, she still would try to do that. I remember we`ve got into real arguments when she would be going into my appartment and put some plants into my shower (so they get water the right way including their leaves) or would be changing the order within my kitchen cabinets (like putting teabags in a different system). She just wanted to help, I am sure of it, and she surely thinks she was doing me a favour in improving the system in my appartment, and it took a long time to make her see why I was completely flipping out. I rarely got into loud disputes with my mom, but this was one thing that REALLY upset me. We`ve learned to approaching compromises over the years, which also includes that I simply hear away, when she is going on again about the messiness of all other people (except her of course - it is not just me, everyone else is messy and a slob, too, even my Dad. lol). I think secretly she still thinks that at least 3 quarter of the world population are even pathologically messy, like if you watch those reports on TV. Of course she tends to see things completely out of proportion, but there is no use discussing with her about that. So I dont. And I realized someday that her lecturing me about how to clean the right way, actually means a lot to her and is an expression of her caring about me. She doesn`T really want to annoy me, but she believes she has something to teach and to give to me (Even though often I don`T want it. lol but she does have some good suggestions too) and I just accept it now as some form of caring, even though it feels at the same time a bit belittling to me. Oh and she stays out of my flat, without my consent, except when I am away for longer to open the windows now and then (so it looks like someone is at home, and noone gets wrong ideas about breaking in). This is always going to be a very stressful factor between us, but I realize that she actually did compromise as much as she could. lol But sometimes it`s still difficult for me to deal with it. I usually deal with not saying too much about it and eventually change the topic. There is no point in arguing, as we are at very different ends of the spectre, and I´ve just accepted that tthis is how it is. (I think she still hopes I am going to change though. lol) Anyway if I were going to live with somebody else I would of course be open to compromise and maybe do more than I would for my own sake. I just think that if you share life like that, well a home, then part of it is that everyone is giving a little, so you can meet on some common ground.
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Post by Violets on Aug 1, 2017 18:43:25 GMT
My Capricorn Mars reminds me so much of a gif Ava once posted of Ron from Parks and Recreation saying something like "Never half-ass anything. Always use your whole ass." I don't recall the exact wording, though. My housekeeping tendencies are pretty much the same as lumina's, lol. BUT. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it right, and I'm going to do it thoroughly. People who skip over details in order to get something done quickly just leave my Mars appalled. Like "Do it once, and do it right." Sloppy documentation at work, or complete incompetence... A lack of ethics. I have codes that I abide by, and I'm always horrified by people who don't abide by those codes or seem to have even a clue about them. I was talking to someone about the "don't date your friends' exes" rule, and how I'm utterly baffled by people who don't inherently understand things like that. Also, I may be a slob, but I put things where they go. It's not that hard. People who are oblivious to their flaws, or the flaws of their loved ones, have selective memories, refuse to admit when they're in the wrong or apologize. I have issues, we all have issues. I do my best to own mine and apologize when I believe it's warranted, and I haven't much patience for people who can't manage the same. Grmphh.
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Post by Violets on Aug 1, 2017 18:46:27 GMT
Now that I've wagged my finger at other people's behaviors, it's only fair to point out that my Mars can be overly controlling and demanding. I'm not a saint, needless to say.
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Post by the89freespirit on Aug 1, 2017 19:05:14 GMT
People who are oblivious to their flaws, or the flaws of their loved ones, have selective memories, refuse to admit when they're in the wrong or apologize. I have issues, we all have issues. I do my best to own mine and apologize when I believe it's warranted, and I haven't much patience for people who can't manage the same. Grmphh. Yessss. This may be an Earth Mars thing because I feel the exact same way. It's to a point where, if they never apologize or own up to things, it's a total deal-breaker for me. I have way more respect for someone who can admit when they're wrong than someone who either acts like they are always right or refuses to acknowledge the times when they're wrong. That's something I really live by, in terms of admitting my flaws and my part in whatever mess I'm in.
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Post by anela on Aug 1, 2017 19:59:57 GMT
A lack of ethics. I have codes that I abide by, and I'm always horrified by people who don't abide by those codes or seem to have even a clue about them. I was talking to someone about the "don't date your friends' exes" rule, and how I'm utterly baffled by people who don't inherently understand things like that. People who are oblivious to their flaws, or the flaws of their loved ones, have selective memories, refuse to admit when they're in the wrong or apologize. I have issues, we all have issues. I do my best to own mine and apologize when I believe it's warranted, and I haven't much patience for people who can't manage the same. Grmphh. Yes!! This is what I'm talking about. I know my flaws, so I hate it when people try to pile ones onto me that don't apply. The never admitting when they're in the wrong, that's a big one. I do admit when I'm wrong, I know how to apologize (and do so). Once I hit the wall I mentioned, I stop caring. When I said that someone seemed to be genetically engineered to find fault with me, that was me slamming into a wall. The other things you mentioned, too. Except half-assing, although I usually don't start unless I know I'm going to get something done. I am awful at putting things away, and am trying to be better. I can be oblivious, but my own will occur to me as I'm doing something. Like, "Oh, that's something I need to pay attention to, as well". Most things aren't a big deal, so I don't say anything. I walk around loaded down with my own flaws - real and imagined (either by myself, or others). I have more trouble thinking of my good points. I almost avoided this thread, because I always find myself in a few lists of peeves. Always. I used to think about joining something like the army, or police force, to become more organized or "together" but I'd never make it, because I can't stand being told what to do. Suggestions are fine, but being ordered to do something will have me putting on the brakes really fast, if I was about to do whatever they'd ordered me to do.
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Post by anela on Aug 1, 2017 20:19:05 GMT
anela I am! I also can't stand it when people project onto me. Unfortunately I've found that Pisces placements make a wonderful canvas for people's paranoia induced projections.. Do you have a strongly placed Sun? I wonder if your family is picking up on your strong Aries individuality rather that your softer, more lunar/venusian qualities? I keep losing my internet connection, so I don't know if this will post. I still don't know what that was about. I vented in the transit thread, because I couldn't see the transits either (and then Faith mentioned the transits that everyone is under at the same time: Sun/Mars square Moon). This cousin who ranted at me out of nowhere, her birthday is next Sunday, so she'll be hit by the full moon and eclipse. I responded to her, upset, but I didn't have a go at her. I was too busy trying to catch my breath, and then figuring out what had triggered it. She has never met me in person, never been around me, we got to know each other over facebook, so anything she refers to has been word of mouth, nothing she's experienced. The thing is, up until five/six years ago, when I was getting attacked, so I finally started to defend myself, nobody would have said such a thing about me. They knew me as being peaceful, and not interested in fighting. When I did fight, it usually wasn't on my own behalf, but I would if pushed. My sister's husband even pointed out that I didn't hit below the belt, when he started a huge fight, and targeted me. He just stopped yelling, surprised that I wasn't going where I *could* easily go, if I'd wanted to. I finally got to a point where I was feeling almost feral, and like a walking red flag. This was after getting beaten up more than once, dealing with a drunk mother who was suddenly full of insults, and the people who were actually causing havoc, getting away with it all. Anything I was blamed for, if I defended myself, that was pegged as proof of what they were saying. It wasn't, and I still don't understand how it happened. But I now come out fighting, so if they're afraid of that, they brought it on themselves. They can't expect to attack and attack, spread rumours and have me sit there like a sweet little lamb, hoping that truth prevails, because nobody was actually here to witness it. Sorry for the rant. I was so out of it the other night, and quiet yesterday morning. As I got my energy back, I started to get angry. I had a few people trying to control me - I couldn't do anything right, even though I tried - but I was called the control freak. I *know* where I am a control freak, so them trying to add things to that, and come out smelling like a rose, with me smelling infinitely less pretty, just... no. I literally had to fight to protect myself at times. And then I'd hear about how awful *I* was. Another aunt stopped talking to me again, because rather than apologize, she expected me to just get over it, telling me it was water under the bridge, when it wasn't (for me). My sister will admit that she hates to apologize, whereas my Aquarius and Aries aunts will deny there was anything to apologize for, and then start to insult all over again. Taurus aunt is in complete denial, although she didn't do anything to me. When I think of it, I think of Blackadder, the show and character, when he was in court, and told Baldrick to "deny everything" - so he does. Literally denies everything.
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Post by anela on Aug 1, 2017 20:32:53 GMT
This is another peeve. As messy as I can be at home, I hate to see litter out in the world. These people left it in one spot, but they still left it.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 22:42:27 GMT
athena Your response sounds like such a Pisces Mars thing to say! Yes, you would hate feeling like you always have to clarify every little thing and make your intentions known all of the time. I guess that's why Pisces is Virgo's opposite because, conversely, I do get kind of irritated when I feel like there is not enough clarity or like we're "speaking in code", as I sometimes say. Even though I do have a strong Neptune influence (especially with it trine my Mars), I have my Virgo Mars conjunct my Mercury. So, while I do sometimes send out my own little subliminal messages (usually whenever I'm working something out internally that I don't want someone else to intrude on), I prefer very direct and specific kinds of communication, for the most part. That kind of goes back to what I was saying in my original post. Since the conjunction's in my 7th, I do really expect other people to say what they mean. But, you do make a good point in that Pisces often does not know what it means or what its intentions are. I've had to learn that about certain Pisces-influenced people in my life. I want them to just get to the point but they are often trying to figure out the point themselves, which is why they can just take me in circles or not even say what's really going on with them. I'd like to say that I can go with the flow fairly well, even though Virgo Mars isn't known for that. But, Virgo is still Mutable. So, it is still adaptable. I guess it's just adaptable and flexible in a very sensible way. I don't mind us changing the time that we're supposed to meet for lunch or something. As long as there's still a clear idea of what's happening and for good reason, I can roll with the punches well. But, when things start not making sense or I don't really know what we're doing, that's when my patience can run low. I have a Virgo ASC and my Mars is coincidentally in the 6th house so I truly do appreciate the ways a Virgo needs clarity. It's very non-fuss, lacks frivolity, and is done in the name of efficiency for the greater good. There are about a billion Virgo Suns/Moons/ASCs/Venus' in my life and I really do enjoy their type of leadership as I tend to trust their vision. I think a Pisces Mars can be directed towards normalcy by the right kinds of people, and who better than the one on the opposite end of their axis? I love a Virgo's sense of adaptability. There's a difference between being adaptable and being fake, and a Virgo is almost always in the former category when they're able to curtail their needs for the enjoyment of others. It's such a selfless sign at its core. I was thinking that pet peeves would fall more along the lines of our Mercuries so it makes sense that you have Mercury conjunct your Mars. Sometimes it's hard to separate people's intentions from their motivations, so there's a fine line when it comes to Mercurial irritations and things that ignite the aggressor in us.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 23:49:57 GMT
Ava - Funnily enough, I'm also a Mars trine Pluto person! The story you told about your role in unsavory social situations also resonates so much with me. Now that I'm older and I don't wear my ego on my sleeve, I'm much more lackadaisical in social settings. I just do my best to be agreeable with people I don't consider my close friends as neutrality tends to grease these situations along and "every one wins". It's not my job to teach an acquaintance manners.. they're just going to be more resentful towards the lesson more than anything else. I used to despise this quote when I was younger but when Maya Angelou said “ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” she could not have been more on point with that assessment. If I can try and avoid people's ire, their bad karma, and being the subject of someone's revenge fantasies... then I've done my part in that interpersonal relationship.
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