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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 4:57:56 GMT
I have nothing in my 11th house, and it being in Virgo, the ruler sits in Aqua in my third exactly conjunct Neptune.
I have very few close friends, and most of the friends I do have rarely see me. I put up walls around me and make it extremely difficult for people to get to the deepest depths of my feelings so usually people are turned off and/or feel pushed away. The very few friends though that I do have get a lot of support and comfort from me and I am there to help when they need it, though if they screw me over and make it obvious that I was taken advantage of, they are cut off. I don't need people in my life who are just going to treat me like shit.
I have a hard time making friends and it's because for one, the walls I put up and two, I'm such a loner. Sometimes people will approach me and try to talk to me like I am alone because "I feel isolated", but in reality I hate making friends with tons of people. The majority of people I come across tend to be shitty friends in the first place. I cannot stand someone who has tons of friends and is incredibly flaky about them; it grates my nerves.
When I do open up my feelings to people, the ones who do show that they care and are willing to be there for me are kept close; the ones who don't are put through a shredder in my mind and never seen again. People who have larger social circles complain about me not having enough friends and etc, but honestly I would rather have a few friends that I can trust than hundreds of friends that I will second-guess.
I also HATE crowds and despise large numbers of people. With so much air in my chart you would think I could adjust, but if I see a crowd I will pack my bags and be out of there in a heartbeat. I am the opposite of a people person.
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Post by Violets on Jul 26, 2017 7:54:50 GMT
😂 @electrodgx, I can identify with a lot of that too, ha.
I don't mind crowds, though.
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Post by Violets on Jul 26, 2017 7:59:33 GMT
❤ anelaAva, I can also imagine you as "the campfire", lol. I feel like you're very much that way here as well, and I'm glad that you contribute to as much of the conversations as you do. lumina, you don't seem like you attract drama! If you do, maybe it's just not as noticeable because you seem so balanced about things...
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Post by lumina on Jul 26, 2017 9:12:38 GMT
Violets , well, to be honest, when the drama unfolds, I am mostly standing here and thinking: "What *beep* is going on?" Like most of it seems like kindergarten, though sometimes the drama results in important things being said that needed to be said but never really were and opening a gate to a more honest exchange, like it happened in this instance. Oh and the drama did not even have to do with me, I felt affected by it still, as maybe I am too emotionally receptive to some things.
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Post by Violets on Jul 26, 2017 9:21:11 GMT
😂 That first part, ha.
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Post by Ava on Jul 26, 2017 13:18:20 GMT
anela"I am usually like the bolded, too - but I've been more needy in recent years, from loneliness. I wish those people who hardly ever contact me, would just be there more often." Sorry if I haven't contacted you enough, sorry that you feel so bad. <3 I tend to be lazy about email with the people I see on forums day after day...I'm thinking, "I'll just see you there." This has also been the weirdest year of my life, socially. In every single category, it's the weirdest year. Many forum friends became email friends, and I love everyone, but with too many people to email, I just fall way behind. The reason I go to forums is to take a break from the pressures of my home life, raising kids, dealing with my unavoidable circumstances. So maybe I have a more frivolous intent when I show up online, and while I can be comforting to people going through hard stuff, I often fall short. I take people's problems seriously but sometimes it's hard to know what to say, when people are going through hard times. Sometimes I don't know if they just want privacy or not. And it's nothing against you whatsoever, but I lost a friend or two recently because I failed to do enough and meet their expectations, which makes me cranky against expectations, especially if I am showing up where someone can talk to me any time they want, and I've been making my concerns about them clear all along, praying and everything. I have to make sure I don't hold any resentment in the aftermath of that misfortune. But I resent it just enough to allude to this, maybe in the hopes that it doesn't happen again. It doesn't sit right with me to get the brand of "negligent" when I am actually around all the time.
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Post by Ava on Jul 26, 2017 13:57:40 GMT
❤ anela Ava , I can also imagine you as "the campfire", lol. I feel like you're very much that way here as well, and I'm glad that you contribute to as much of the conversations as you do. lumina , you don't seem like you attract drama! If you do, maybe it's just not as noticeable because you seem so balanced about things... Thanks Violets. I guess this is a hard topic for me when it comes to my online life. As I was saying, it's been a crazy year. I just thought of another friendship I lost, where a person affected me emotionally during a transiting Pisces moon, and I had to step back and gather my thoughts....I have these strong hermit tendencies.....and when the brash Aries moon came, they told me off and "have a nice life." 11H Gemini Mars square 8H Pisces moon I'm not complaining (never! ) but that presents a lot of challenges.
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Post by Ava on Jul 26, 2017 14:00:24 GMT
Violets , well, to be honest, when the drama unfolds, I am mostly standing here and thinking: "What the fuck is going on?" I love when you use the F word. LOL
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Post by Violets on Jul 26, 2017 15:21:52 GMT
I think we'll technically have to put an asterisk there where the "u" is, but I also thought it was hilarious. Wow. I'm sorry to hear about that troubled friendship, Ava. 😳❤
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Post by lumina on Jul 26, 2017 18:42:08 GMT
I wasn`t expecting this to go through uncensored.
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Post by Ava on Jul 26, 2017 19:28:35 GMT
Thanks again Violets, I was in a cranky/whiny mood this morning. My Leo ASC head needing petting.
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Post by anela on Jul 26, 2017 20:24:44 GMT
anela "I am usually like the bolded, too - but I've been more needy in recent years, from loneliness. I wish those people who hardly ever contact me, would just be there more often." Sorry if I haven't contacted you enough, sorry that you feel so bad. <3 I tend to be lazy about email with the people I see on forums day after day...I'm thinking, "I'll just see you there." This has also been the weirdest year of my life, socially. In every single category, it's the weirdest year. Many forum friends became email friends, and I love everyone, but with too many people to email, I just fall way behind. The reason I go to forums is to take a break from the pressures of my home life, raising kids, dealing with my unavoidable circumstances. So maybe I have a more frivolous intent when I show up online, and while I can be comforting to people going through hard stuff, I often fall short. I take people's problems seriously but sometimes it's hard to know what to say, when people are going through hard times. Sometimes I don't know if they just want privacy or not. And it's nothing against you whatsoever, but I lost a friend or two recently because I failed to do enough and meet their expectations, which makes me cranky against expectations, especially if I am showing up where someone can talk to me any time they want, and I've been making my concerns about them clear all along, praying and everything. I have to make sure I don't hold any resentment in the aftermath of that misfortune. But I resent it just enough to allude to this, maybe in the hopes that it doesn't happen again. It doesn't sit right with me to get the brand of "negligent" when I am actually around all the time. Oh, no, not you!!! Why would you think that? No, I'm isolated a lot. I wish I had my friends here, in person. When I wrote that, I was thinking of someone who, when I asked how things had changed for the better for them, they told me that nobody was to be trusted, and that just knowing that things were fine, should be enough of an update. In April, they told me they basically told me that I was overly-sensitive and took that the wrong way - I took it as though I wasn't to be trusted, even though I'd been their loyal friend for years. Shit, I want to cry now. I feel like it anyway, but that wasn't directed at you. I'm bad with email, and even texting, and I also try to respect others with how much space they need. I need a certain amount of it myself. I just miss having people around, in person, or someone that I feel comfortable talking to, like my sister, who is busy, and doesn't always get back to me when I just need a bit of company. I don't remember the last time we talked on skype.
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Post by anela on Jul 26, 2017 20:29:42 GMT
I also don't know how much or how little to say, whether I'll sound too perky if I try to cheer someone up (my sister thought I wanted her to be happy, when she broke up with her boyfriend for all of something like eight hours, when I just wanted to relax her enough that she'd stop throwing up) - or if I'll come across like "misery loves company" if I encourage someone to wallow. Like, "yay, someone's miserable along with me!" Which would not be my intention.
Misunderstandings. I hate them. Damn it. I'm glad I was here to clear that up, but I also wish I hadn't seen it right now. I'm so sick of feeling misunderstood.
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Post by Violets on Jul 26, 2017 20:59:46 GMT
Is it just me, or does it feel like everyone (at least in my life) is going through an unpleasant Uranus or Mercury transit, even if they're not? 🤔
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Post by Ava on Jul 26, 2017 22:27:52 GMT
anela Sorry, didn't mean to upset you! I assumed you weren't really hinting anything at me. Mainly you just reminded me of another recent situation, the one I described there, where someone thought I should have emailed, and this caused a rift with a domino effect...the fact that I was "merely" showing up every day to talk to them, and not sending a specific email inquiring about the difficult situation. Your issue with your friend sounds about equally messed up. Violets I don't know what's going on, really. Mercury's actually trine Uranus so maybe people are just saying some of the less inhibited things on their minds. (?)
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2017 21:23:19 GMT
My 11th is empty, as are 8th, 9th and 10th. I can concur with athena (another empty 11th) in many ways. I can't abide by groups and if meeting up with friends, the group size doesn't excced 3. Where groups prevail, I'm the outsider. I have 2 or3 very good friends and that's it. My 11th ruler is Mercury which sits in the 3rd. Considering the ruler - the planet for communciation is situated in the house of communcation, it should have made me friendlier.
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Post by anela on Jul 27, 2017 22:27:22 GMT
I feel all confused, but better today. I just hate to think that I've upset anyone. I'm annoyed with myself, and hugely self-critical, and am having trouble letting certain things go (my screw-ups).
Pluto is square my Mercury, retrograde at the moment in my 3rd house. I'm fine when I'm calm, because I don't take things personally, but when I have something weighing on me, I take everything personally. I've mainly upset myself, with my own failures.
But the friend thing I mentioned from April - *edited.
Sorry, I'm trying to get back on topic. It sort of is, but I was thinking about how I got moved away from everyone I knew, over and over, and was just expected to start again. It feels like my offline relationships - most of them - are too shallow. I feel wistful (nicer version of envious), when I hear about people getting together with friends/loved ones.
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Post by Ava on Jul 28, 2017 12:24:45 GMT
anelaIf anyone gets upset at something you say, they don't really know you. I wasn't positive what you were saying in your comment earlier, since you replied directly to me but were alluding to something else. But I know you always mean well. Anyone who doesn't isn't paying attention. You're trustworthy and deserve credit for that. Please don't let anyone else let you forget what a good person you are.
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Post by Violets on Jul 28, 2017 15:54:40 GMT
I'll second what Faith said. ❤
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Post by FruityLlama on Jul 28, 2017 17:52:38 GMT
I have Sun, Moon, Mercury in the 11th house, the cusp starts at Aries with Taurus intercepted. Friendships are a source of pain usually. They come and go. it would be lovely to find some like-minded people in real life who listen to me and understand instead of constantly having to steamroll. I'd like to have healthy debates with friends instead of being around people who get so offended by a difference of opinion and go off on one. Oh Violets , i think you are right about those transits. I am a little ratty these days, my summer job allows me to think too much and i end up going over conversations that annoyed me and then talking to myself, its really bad....
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