What's in your 11th house?

[Violets]

I've been thinking about this house, as I notice such a dramatic difference in people's attitudes towards friendships, depending on what they have here. Probably group affiliations as well, but as I have Saturn there I don't know much about group affiliations that aren't work related. 😂

How do you approach friendships, interact with your friends, groups, etc? What planets do you have there, if any? Sign?

[lumina]

Uranus on the 11th house cusp on 1 Scorpio.

I guess drama finds me. lol

[the89freespirit]

Uranus, which is also my chart ruler.

I rarely get attached to anyone. I'm very good at socializing in the actual social situation. Then, I usually just am off, completely doing my own thing. I regularly just forget to text or to keep in touch, as bad as that may sound. Even when people text me, you never know if I'll respond two minutes or two hours later. I think that I am just more of a "casual friend" to the majority of people. It makes sense because Uranus rules the 11th and that is what this house stands for: more so acquaintances and casual friends than close, life-altering ones. I understand that very well. I guess I innately don't like the idea of getting too involved or being too influenced by people. I am very friendly but it takes a lot to actually become my close friend. Even with the select people I consider close friends, we have been on and off throughout the years. So, yeah, I am very unpredictable and inconsistent with my friends. Even when I'm going out, people never know when I'll show up. I just come and go.

The interesting thing, though, is that I've found that people's circle of friends/social network treat them in the manner of their 11th House planet (or sign) just as much as that person treats their friends that way. So, sometimes, it's just that people are quite detached from me. I do feel like I don't really get invited to hang out like other people do. I never feel like an irreplaceable part of a friend group or anything. But, I do think a big part of that is because I'm so detached from my friends and so independent and self-reliant. I'm not a needy friend on any level, so I guess people figure that I'm fine without them. And I kind of am. I'm always sort of on the periphery on social settings; that classic misfit. But, I know how to sort of ease my way into social situations and connect with people.

I am so open-minded and inclusive when it comes to making friends. I can be friends with literally anyone, as long as they are a good person. You have to interest me but I don't give one damn about social status or the money you make or anything like that. I only care about your character. It's a bit disheartening to me, sometimes, to realize how cliquey or judgmental people can be, in that way. But, I carry on. And I am that person who does seem to mingle with everyone and knows lots of different people. I guess I am quite well-known because of that. In my current social scene, I'm one of the "regulars" but, at the same time, I will never feel like I fit in. I've been grappling with that lately because I've gotten sick of how pretentious and closed-off people in my scene are. I'm taking myself a break from going out because it's stopped being as interesting or fun. But, I'll probably be back at it again a while from now.

[Deleted]

11th house is empty, sign Virgo

I have 3 quality friends, 1 is my sister. Other people are just people I just hang out with.
There are a few online friendships I have.
In groups, I take longer to open up and do like to observe and check out who is approachable, before, when I was younger, I needed my safety person near me, but the older I got I now jump more in with confidence and talk to who ever and dont care.
I do not ever open up easily, I need to trust people before I opoen up.
No one knows my complete story, depending on the person I tell people what I think they can handle about me, so its like each person has only a pieces of me, only 1 person knows me nearly totally.

[anela]

I have Pluto there, in Placidus. Virgo is on the cusp, but also inhabited by Libra.

My confidence and attitudes changed when I was bullied, as a kid, so my response to people changed with that. When my best friend visited me after we moved, I was even shy around her for a while. We lost touch for a while, as adults, but got back in touch when we were 26, I think it was. I still haven't talked to her on the phone, though. Not once. which is weird considering I've known her since I was eleven. She's a Cancer with a Capricorn Moon. Venus in Leo trine my Aries planets, and her Mars/Jupiter conjoin them.

I keep going on about being miserable alone. I don't like people crowding me out of my home, and I'm protective of personal space, but I do need people around. I don't even know what to think of friendship anymore, though. There's the Moon/Venus side of me, that loves it, at least when I feel at home around people. Peaceful, accepted, etc. I feel like there's a wall between me and others, too often.

[anela]

Jul 24, 2017 17:50:39 GMT the89freespirit said:

Uranus, which is also my chart ruler.

I rarely get attached to anyone. I'm very good at socializing in the actual social situation. Then, I usually just am off, completely doing my own thing. I regularly just forget to text or to keep in touch, as bad as that may sound. Even when people text me, you never know if I'll respond two minutes or two hours later. I think that I am just more of a "casual friend" to the majority of people. It makes sense because Uranus rules the 11th and that is what this house stands for: more so acquaintances and casual friends than close, life-altering ones. I understand that very well. I guess I innately don't like the idea of getting too involved or being too influenced by people. I am very friendly but it takes a lot to actually become my close friend. Even with the select people I consider close friends, we have been on and off throughout the years. So, yeah, I am very unpredictable and inconsistent with my friends. Even when I'm going out, people never know when I'll show up. I just come and go.

The interesting thing, though, is that I've found that people's circle of friends/social network treat them in the manner of their 11th House planet (or sign) just as much as that person treats their friends that way. So, sometimes, it's just that people are quite detached from me. I do feel like I don't really get invited to hang out like other people do. I never feel like an irreplaceable part of a friend group or anything. But, I do think a big part of that is because I'm so detached from my friends and so independent and self-reliant. I'm not a needy friend on any level, so I guess people figure that I'm fine without them. And I kind of am. I'm always sort of on the periphery on social settings; that classic misfit. But, I know how to sort of ease my way into social situations and connect with people.

I am so open-minded and inclusive when it comes to making friends. I can be friends with literally anyone, as long as they are a good person. You have to interest me but I don't give one damn about social status or the money you make or anything like that. I only care about your character. It's a bit disheartening to me, sometimes, to realize how cliquey or judgmental people can be, in that way. But, I carry on. And I am that person who does seem to mingle with everyone and knows lots of different people. I guess I am quite well-known because of that. In my current social scene, I'm one of the "regulars" but, at the same time, I will never feel like I fit in. I've been grappling with that lately because I've gotten sick of how pretentious and closed-off people in my scene are. I'm taking myself a break from going out because it's stopped being as interesting or fun. But, I'll probably be back at it again a while from now.

I feel the same way, but have Pluto there. I don't know how much of that is me holding back, or other people. I *am* needy now, so I pull back when I feel that way. 

I posted something last night, and was then worried that people would take it the wrong way, but not worried enough that I got up again to delete it. Just trusting that people wouldn't, you know? I don't know. Just about not wanting to have to figure people out. What I meant was, people that deliberately play games - I'm not interested in that. If you're just quiet, that's fine: I can be, too. I used to be called "mysterious" all the time, and it started to get to me. I tend to take people as they come, and accept whatever you want to tell me. I don't ask many questions, because I don't want to pry. 

Over the past year, we've been spending more time in a local town about fifteen minutes away by car. We went to eat at one place, the other evening. Everyone seemed to know each other, and I get that tug of regret, that I've been here for years, and barely know anyone. That bar even has a bird that lives on the deck. One of the waitresses told us, that if we put food down next to us, he would come and get it - he wasn't shy. I love that. 

[anela]

Jul 24, 2017 17:56:30 GMT @intuitivefish said:

11th house is empty, sign Virgo

I have 3 quality friends, 1 is my sister. Other people are just people I just hang out with.
There are a few online friendships I have.
In groups, I take longer to open up and do like to observe and check out who is approachable, before, when I was younger, I needed my safety person near me, but the older I got I now jump more in with confidence and talk to who ever and dont care.
I do not ever open up easily, I need to trust people before I opoen up.
No one knows my complete story, depending on the person I tell people what I think they can handle about me, so its like each person has only a pieces of me, only 1 person knows me nearly totally.

I can relate to this, too, even down to the safe person. I still occasionally need one, when my anxiety is up. 

Oh, and back to my first response: I did talk to my friend on the phone when I was in England. She would come to stay at our house, too. It's just over here, we haven't spoken on the phone. People only have pieces of me, even though it seems like I talk about private things - there are things I still keep to myself. I didn't tell her about my anxiety, for years. I finally wrote a letter, because she wondered why I kept so much to myself. I didn't want to burden anyone, but was also ashamed. I guess I still am.

I looked up Dead Like Me, last night, only to find that Amazon now has it through another paid service. I like shows that like, where there's a group of people like family. There's something comforting about the show to me, anyway, but that group being a family, is also a draw for me. Gilmore Girls, mother/daughter relationship that I had with my mum, their having friends in town - people pulling together. I've wanted all of that (I did have that when I was a kid, but haven't since I was eighteen, before we moved to Ohio). 

[Deleted]

Virgo is on the cusp and my mercury is in there. My libra sun is also in my 11th but at the end of my 11th.

I would consider very few people a friend. I have quite a few aquaintences but when it comes to talking about my self i would open up to select few. I would not say there are people who know everything about me. Only couple of my friends know i like to try to read tarot for example.

pls dnt quote

[Ava]

11H Gemini Mars, Rx

Mars aspects most of my chart.

I have a bipolar social life. I'm friends with a lot of conservatives (religious and/or political) and I'm friends with progressive, New Age people. I'm sure some of my friends could not even believe what some of my other friends are like.

At parties people often settle in around me. Sometimes I've felt like the campfire or something, because I don't even say much, people just seem to accumulate. Gradually they are all talking to each other, not me, which is pretty much what I wanted to begin with...to not have to say anything. 

I have several friends from childhood. I'm a Capricorn and we don't ever seem to leave, we're like the boulders in your backyard. So people can go years without contacting me and we just pick up where we left off, still laughing about the same ridiculous things. So that's another way there are two sides to it: I'm there even if I'm not really there. I gave my Cap friend a refrigerator magnet that says:

[lumina]

Ava,

that is so interesting, you being the campfire. I can see that.


Well I´ve usually not managed very well in groups and cliques. My oldest friend I´ve known for over 25 years actually, and people cannot believe we are still friends, well they wouldn`T believe that even years before, as we seem so different. We aren`t, that is the funny thing, but we do seem quite different.

Friendships, I mean real friendships (and I don`t do others - others are aquaintances, not friends), tend to take on an intensity and commitment and depth that might weird out some other people.

However it`s also friends, or whom I thought to be friends, that betrayed me the worst, or actually I should have heard to my initial inner voice when first meeting them, it usually warned me right away and then got silenced, because I guess I wanted to believe them.


Well also, with Uranus as ruler of 3rd house in 11th house, on the cusp - seems like the internet was being invented for me, right? I mean electronic communication with groups is so Uranus with relation to 3rd and 11th house.


I also think that getting pulled into the setting around P and the whole musical-theatre-backstage-scene, is so Uranus in 11th, just as is standing out there, too. Not really fitting into those categories. But then again my closest aquaintance there does not -quite-fit the fan-stereotype either, but she is like a communication-centre for all possible people. lol


Well the fact that things tend to get so intense sometimes that they freak me out a bit (why are these things suddenly seem so serious and personal and close?) maybe because of my 11th house being in Scorpio?


also 11th house as the house of love received - I´ve been actually subjected to fits of jealousy and posessiveness by good friends, wo were demanding I had to pick them over everyone else.... or else......

Well I usually was gone, before they could come to the "or else" part. I don`t do ultimatums.
nor blackmail. lol


as for the love received part I am still waiting for this to show. ROFL

Nah, seriously I think so I might receive surprising intensity by others? Who knows?


A lot of Uranian people and Plutonian people among my friends really (added to the earthy vibe, that I need for the friendship to have lasting power), though I don`t have all that many friends. But the contrast of Uranus-Pluto is a bit of a family thing, too.


Well 11th house - at least for a performer - is also the house of the audience, I`ve always found that interesting in terms of P`s chart, too, who has Venus in his 11th house - and well I´d guess at least 2 third of his fans are female. Who are only coming to his concerts because of the music of course. Well some actually might. lol


But it is interesting in his chart that the ruler of the intercepted 7th house, Venus, is in his 11th house and the ruler of his 11th house, Saturn, is in 7th house, actually conjunct DESC and Venus and Saturn are partile trine each other (with sextiles to Uranus in Scorpio in 8th house).

Let`s just say I have my very own interpretation of this one. LOL

[Deleted]

My 11th is ruled by Leo and is empty save my SN and a few Greek asteroids

I would say that... the themes of the 11th House are something I have historically struggled with the most in life. Groups have always been treacherous towards me since I was a kid, but honestly I understand why. I'm not one to agree with things just for the sake of "group harmony", a lack of critical thinking drives me bonkers, I enjoy being a contrarian for the sake of "spicing up" conversation every now and then, I'm not one to attend every little event and when I do I just show up at the time that suits me. I would say that the average, run of the mill person who enjoys groups would find a person like me insufferable.

It's weird because I was SO extroverted as a kid and had a million friends. Really up until 3 years ago I had many different groups I would flit around depending on my mood even though I don't "like" groups. I live in an infamously superficial city where not engaging in groups is seen as bizarre and anti career. After my dad's death in 2014, I entered a really somber mindset and excommunicated all groups from my life. I just couldn't stand that shallow, surface-level type of interaction anymore (and I barely could then). Now I just engage in 1 x 1 interactions with people that aren't my boyfriend. I wish I could fake things better because it would be really advantageous to me socially but I feel like I'm fighting against authenticity, which I hate to do.

I always wondered if my birth time was wrong solely because I believe I should have a malefic planet in the 11th house

[Violets]

My Saturn in 11th is in Cancer, although it's Gemini that is on my 11th cusp.

It really is a no bullsh*t, no tolerance for petty drama or fights type of placement. I tend to feel disgusted by people who drag drama around with them like they stepped in it, and I demand, in my heart, unconditional acceptance and appreciation from the few people I call real friends. That is what I give, so I need to have the same in return. I don't feel like I make a pain of myself as a friend, and I'm not needy...so I value the sharing and acceptance of quirks and faults, and the ability to laugh/have empathy for them.

Space is important to me, autonomy... I don't share my personal issues with my friends often, unless I'm truly at a complete loss. But I don't mind people telling me about theirs, and will try to listen with compassion, with as little advice giving as a Virgo Moon can manage.

I do actually tend to open myself up to people straight away (with some things--as @intuitivefish said, not many people know all there is to know about me).
I think it's a way of saying "This is me. Can you accept it and handle it, laugh about it, and likewise open up to me?" If the answer feels like a "No", I shut that door and it doesn't get opened again. If the answer feels like a "Yes", I'm very loyal, although I still maintain a level of objectivity.

Probably worth it to add that mutual respect and empathy are absolutely mandatory.

Also in retrospect, my friends can have their dramas if they just do, but I really distance myself from those situations, it needs to have nothing to do with me.

[the89freespirit]

anela

It's interesting that you talked about your attitude toward socializing and friends changing when you became bullied as a kid. Mine did as well and I can see a major shift that happened once transiting Pluto entered my 11th House growing up. It was actually right when I went into high school and I lost the majority of the friend group I'd been attached to throughout middle school. And shortly after, my best friend at the time also moved away. So, I really had to learn to stand alone and be strong socially. It felt like a real turning point because I became even more intent on showing people how different I was and that I didn't care if they made fun of me for it. Before then, I felt sort of sorry for myself for being bullied (transiting Neptune was conjunct my Ascendant when it started). But, once Pluto entered my 11th, I started to find my power as an outcast. I actually grew to enjoy freaking people out or even being kind of "scary" and I got very used to being on the outskirts. That was when the loner side of me really developed. It was hard but also strangely rewarding. I'm quite thankful for that transit because I do think it gave me a lot of strength and inner resourcefulness on a social level.

But, I can only imagine what it feels like living with it your whole life. I'm sure it's a bit different. Since Pluto's house is where we've been scarred, it seems like it would give you a lot of psychological baggage in terms of social situations.

[Ava]

lumina ,

Thanks for saying you can see me as "the campfire." LOL, it an odd thing for me to say, but I was thinking of how Mars is a fire planet...and my Mars aspects three other fire planets: Aries Jupiter (sextile), Leo Saturn (semisquare), Sag Neptune (opposition). Plus Mars is quincunx my sun. You don't get more fiery than the sun, not in this solar system anyway.

Mars aspecting my sun and moon, so there is a lot of personal substance expressed there. I don't just talk to have conversational matter swirling about. In some way I'm always trying to effect a real connection.

Mars rules my MC if my birth time is correct, so if I'm in public, it seems my role is cut out for me, that I should be the party planner, hostess, social butterfly that makes rounds and sees to it that everyone is included. I am like that online because it's easier when I am not suffering sensory overload from being in full contact with others and their whole vibe.
In real life, it's more complex. Gemini Mars, I don't see that as a particularly strong planet, I feel unsettled and vulnerable in groups, which is why I usually end up virtually huddled someplace, but still appearing warm and willing to talk. Without that Mars placement I might seem closed off and disinterested.

Interesting what you say about friendships, well Scorpio Uranus has always perplexed me, the way a planet can be exalted in a sign (Scorpio) that squares the sign the planet rules (Aquarius). So it's deep and turbulent and yet somehow this is an exalted experience. (?) Same goes for my 4H Scorpio Uranus...deep and turbulent home life....it's exalted. (?!?) What on earth is this about? Maybe it helps the people we're in contact with, that we continually churn up the truth, and secrets, and make what's hidden rather obvious and brilliant. You do that for us through your astrology teaching: you show how true it is, with all these examples and lessons. Ha, I think you even rubbed off on P

Makes sense also that in these conditions there could be a "turnover" of friendships, where maybe too much gets pulled up to the surface, the friendship suffers growing pains or disillusion....

Though in your best friend's case, maybe the consolidation of so much energy in one cluster in the zodiac creates a strong core of sincerity that proves itself out year after year, and doesn't change. So no matter how many things you go through, she is still this same person. I'm speculating. And you know I have a special fondness for people born around her time.

[Violets]

the89freespirit, I hate to keep tagging you (I'm starting to feel like I'm following you around or something), but reading your post about being bullied was pretty weird for me, it felt like I was reading my own story.

[lumina]

Ava ,

the dignities of planets were mostly used when they were just using traditional planets, and I know that some say Uranus is exalted in Scorpio and so on, but I don`t buy it. If I use dignities, I only use the traditional ones. Maybe I`ve been listening too much to Kevin Burke in this case. lol

Though of course even traditionally some interesting things can happen like, Mars is exalted in Capricorn but Saturn is in detriment or fall (never know which one) in Aries.

But I don´t use them too much anyway, they are extremely important for horary, though even then Ive made some interesting untraditional observations. For example in a relationship horary I`ve often heard that if a planet is in fall or detriment of the other person`s significator, that speaks of extreme loathing.

I found only half of it be true, the emotional response is "extreme", but interestingly I`ve also found this to sometimes be a sign of extreme attraction, sometimes to the degree that a person needs to put up their defenses to not get completely overwhelmed by their feelings and unable to act around them at all.

I cannot tell you how often this was the reception that came up in horaries about P, and I can tell you I have never felt loathing for him. :laughing:

[the89freespirit]

Jul 25, 2017 16:38:16 GMT Violets said:

the89freespirit , I hate to keep tagging you (I'm starting to feel like I'm following you around or something), but reading your post about being bullied was pretty weird for me, it felt like I was reading my own story.

Yes, I'm calling the police. "Hi, 911? I'm being stalked."

It's fine. It's probably because we both have a planet in our 11th House. For the 11th House person, I think a transit through this house during adolescence, in particular, can only magnify that sense of social chaos and dissociation. I feel the more laidback element of my 11th House Uranus a lot more now as an adult. But, in my teenage years, I was "on guard" a lot because of Pluto's transit through here. And I also think big, bad Pluto was my protector in many ways. I was bullied but more so on psychological or verbal levels, especially as I got older. I was never beat up or stuffed into a trashcan or anything. I didn't even have any cruel pranks or anything pulled on me. And I could've seemed like a prime target for that because I wasn't physically imposing at all, besides being really tall. Yet, once I got to high school, nobody really messed with me too directly for some mysterious reason.

Like I said, I did become quite good at scaring potential foes away. I adopted a "don't mess with me" thing for a while during this transit, as well. It wasn't until Pluto entered Capricorn and hit my Uranus that my attitude actually started to change. I realized how strong I was and how I was no longer that tortured kid in high school anymore (because this happened around the time I turned 20 or 21). So, I relaxed more into social situations and realized that I was powerful enough to handle whatever one of my peers could throw at me and didn't need to worry about it. Pluto's transits do deeply change us and I think I can credit Pluto's transit through my 11th for not making me scared of anyone on a social level. I can't say that I didn't get intimidated by some of my peers growing up. But, now, no one intimidates me.



 

[Violets]

the89freespirit (heh)
Ditto, I was also not physically bullied, and I developed the same attitude. I believe Saturn was transiting through my 5th around that time, hitting my NN and Neptune, squaring my luminaries.

Interestingly, thirty years later I moved back to the same town during the same transit, through a turn of "fate" (or probably to learn the lesson of self-acceptance that I don't believe I learned the first time around here).

Anyway...

[anela]

Jul 25, 2017 8:47:54 GMT the89freespirit said:

anela

It's interesting that you talked about your attitude toward socializing and friends changing when you became bullied as a kid. Mine did as well and I can see a major shift that happened once transiting Pluto entered my 11th House growing up. It was actually right when I went into high school and I lost the majority of the friend group I'd been attached to throughout middle school. And shortly after, my best friend at the time also moved away. So, I really had to learn to stand alone and be strong socially. It felt like a real turning point because I became even more intent on showing people how different I was and that I didn't care if they made fun of me for it. Before then, I felt sort of sorry for myself for being bullied (transiting Neptune was conjunct my Ascendant when it started). But, once Pluto entered my 11th, I started to find my power as an outcast. I actually grew to enjoy freaking people out or even being kind of "scary" and I got very used to being on the outskirts. That was when the loner side of me really developed. It was hard but also strangely rewarding. I'm quite thankful for that transit because I do think it gave me a lot of strength and inner resourcefulness on a social level.

But, I can only imagine what it feels like living with it your whole life. I'm sure it's a bit different. Since Pluto's house is where we've been scarred, it seems like it would give you a lot of psychological baggage in terms of social situations.

I kind of got over it, only to deal with it again, at home five/six years ago. That's when I broke down.

When I was fifteen, I dropped out, because I couldn't take it anymore. Just the constant crap - I wasn't a fighter, and I'd given up on trying to be nice or bother at all. I remember when we moved (yet again), to that area, I looked at the class and thought, "I don't have the energy to do this again." I'd been bullied at a previous school, and that had taken a chunk of confidence away - but I'd been nice to one of the "cool" girls when she got kicked out of her group, and she remembered that. When she was accepted back to the group, they started being nicer to me. I couldn't believe that things were improving, only for mum to move us again. 

I was just sitting out in the van, enjoying the night breeze and the sounds of the night critters, scrolling through instragram, and wishing I had the stability and confidence of the woman whose pictures I'd been looking at. It may be imagined, she may have her anxieties. I just wish I hadn't been moved away from every place I felt happy. 

[anela]

Jul 24, 2017 20:59:43 GMT Ava said:

11H Gemini Mars, Rx

Mars aspects most of my chart.

I have a bipolar social life. I'm friends with a lot of conservatives (religious and/or political) and I'm friends with progressive, New Age people. I'm sure some of my friends could not even believe what some of my other friends are like.

At parties people often settle in around me. Sometimes I've felt like the campfire or something, because I don't even say much, people just seem to accumulate. Gradually they are all talking to each other, not me, which is pretty much what I wanted to begin with...to not have to say anything. 

I have several friends from childhood. I'm a Capricorn and we don't ever seem to leave, we're like the boulders in your backyard. So people can go years without contacting me and we just pick up where we left off, still laughing about the same ridiculous things. So that's another way there are two sides to it: I'm there even if I'm not really there. I gave my Cap friend a refrigerator magnet that says:

I am usually like the bolded, too - but I've been more needy in recent years, from loneliness. I wish those people who hardly ever contact me, would just be there more often.