Is all this 7th house activity doomed?

[doryandtheking]

This is an individual I dated in 2019 and sadly am still not over. When I wanted commitment he just wasn’t ready and didn’t want to stop me from “finding Mr. Right” , I thought that was fair and mature but I couldn’t let go so we would argue a lot...after each argument he would emphasize we shouldn’t be friends and we shouldn’t talk and then I would promptly be blocked but then I noticed a pattern where he unblocks me every few weeks to check in, to say hello, to see how I am, but each time he doesn’t acknowledge the previous fight and tells me I should really move on, can’t see me, doesn’t want to lead me on.

Uhm hello, but you contacted me and if you wanted me to properly move on you’d stop reappearing when I’ve expressed so many times that for me the feelings are still there and it hurts! There’s an element of game playing that I sense but I have tolerated this only because I too feel he hasn’t moved on. I want to emphasize that he was direct, kind, and supportive albeit in sort of avoidant way otherwise I would not accept the silent treatment and his unwillingness to address what it is he wants. He’s secretive and vague but has always been polite.

To put it mildly I really am besotted with this guy. I see some strong aspects between us but sadly it seems that it’s only me that’s expressing how much I miss him and our time together.

I thought with so many placement in his 7th house there would at least be the possibility for a strong connection. My Sun, Mars, Venus, and Mercury all in his 7th house but I do also see Chiron that he has placed on my 7th as well. There is also some disconcerting Uranus activity.

Below is our synastry and composite! I’m blue...I would appreciate any input! Not sure if this is useful but we’re an interracial couple...I’m African and he’s Eastern European.

Synastry
ibb.co/pKz9k5Q

Composite
ibb.co/H7RzQvs

[Ava]

Welcome doryandtheking,

You seem to have a good objective view of the relationship and its astrology. I agree with you about the prime importance of that 7th house overlay, it seems to explain his persistence. Another thing: is his Mars on his sun-moon midpoint? That might increase its potency. Cancer Mars can be reactive and instinctual, sometimes at the mercy of their own strong feelings (reason aside). His Mars falling in your 8th house, conjunct composite Venus, might compel him to alternately seduce and reject the love you're displaying. Mars is weird that way...romance planet *and* war planet.

Your moon squaring his ASC/DSC axis and the planets clustered on each angle means, you are emotionally attuned to his struggles. And of course, a Libra moon is seeking balance and fairness. Perhaps he can't believe he's capable of offering that to you, but keeps checking in with you because he's noticing you actually help him.

He's also got that Virgo moon on his/your south node, squaring his Mercury. This is all very conflicted, especially for a Gemini sun. He may not know what he wants, or if he does, he doesn't quite know how to say it. His north node's on the Aquarius/Pisces cusp, so Uranus and Neptune are key planets...he has these on his ascendant. So it seems he puts himself across with erratic behavior (Uranus) and vagueness (Neptune). Your Mercury on his DSC, opposing his ASC stellium, enables you to call attention to what he's doing, name it, and hold him accountable for it. Transiting Mars @ 7 Cancer now should be really stimulating or aggravating your mind, when it comes to these issues. He's probably feeling that, too.

My own Venus is in Sagittarius and I have historically jumped ship the moment someone else wasn't interested, so I'm not the one to advise anyone on how to reclaim a guy who acts like this. All I can say is, looking into these charts, it's pretty clear why you might feel pulled into a kind of vortex with this guy, in spite of his inconsiderate ways. It's believable that you see things he doesn't, and he probably knows that, but doesn't know how to deal with it.

Just an amateur reading and guesswork, hope others answer.

Note to new members: please feel free to jump in any time and read for each other, that would be great.

[doryandtheking]

May 5, 2021 1:43:19 GMT Ava said:

Welcome doryandtheking,

You seem to have a good objective view of the relationship and its astrology. I agree with you about the prime importance of that 7th house overlay, it seems to explain his persistence. Another thing: is his Mars on his sun-moon midpoint? That might increase its potency. Cancer Mars can be reactive and instinctual, sometimes at the mercy of their own strong feelings (reason aside). His Mars falling in your 8th house, conjunct composite Venus, might compel him to alternately seduce and reject the love you're displaying. Mars is weird that way...romance planet *and* war planet.

Your moon squaring his ASC/DSC axis and the planets clustered on each angle means, you are emotionally attuned to his struggles. And of course, a Libra moon is seeking balance and fairness. Perhaps he can't believe he's capable of offering that to you, but keeps checking in with you because he's noticing you actually help him.

He's also got that Virgo moon on his/your south node, squaring his Mercury. This is all very conflicted, especially for a Gemini sun. He may not know what he wants, or if he does, he doesn't quite know how to say it. His north node's on the Aquarius/Pisces cusp, so Uranus and Neptune are key planets...he has these on his ascendant. So it seems he puts himself across with erratic behavior (Uranus) and vagueness (Neptune). Your Mercury on his DSC, opposing his ASC stellium, enables you to call attention to what he's doing, name it, and hold him accountable for it. Transiting Mars @ 7 Cancer now should be really stimulating or aggravating your mind, when it comes to these issues. He's probably feeling that, too.

My own Venus is in Sagittarius and I have historically jumped ship the moment someone else wasn't interested, so I'm not the one to advise anyone on how to reclaim a guy who acts like this. All I can say is, looking into these charts, it's pretty clear why you might feel pulled into a kind of vortex with this guy, in spite of his inconsiderate ways. It's believable that you see things he doesn't, and he probably knows that, but doesn't know how to deal with it.

Just an amateur reading and guesswork, hope others answer.

Note to new members: please feel free to jump in any time and read for each other, that would be great.

Hi Ava,

Thanks for your take on this! It’s a very enlightening interpretation and really seems to fit our experience. This is the first relationship where I’ve tried to ask for what I want and be vulnerable to a degree I’m not otherwise, especially with a person who seems to shut me down and struggles to reveal what’s causing this inconsistent behavior.

That being said, I keep that door open for him, at least the means to communicate and showing I’m not upset for long (not retaliating in like but just pointing out his behavior). It’s very difficult sometimes as my insecurities often lead me to conclude I’m just not attractive, intelligent, or the right racial or social background for him and there are other times I sense some trauma that’s led to his treatment of our relationship. I’m patient but not waiting for him if that makes sense or foregoing other connections just because I feel this overwhelming love and liner eve for him.

And to answer your question regarding his sun/moon midpoint it is in (cancer mine is in Virgo). So his Mars is conjunct his Sun/Moon midpoint if I’m not mistaken and my newbie skills correctly! As his Sun is in Gemini and my Sun/Moon midpoint is in Virgo his Sun would be square my Sun/Moon midpoint, lastly my Sun is conjunct his Sun/Moon midpoint (7 degree orb) but the orbs are rather large for synastry there, however, his Virgo Moon is conjunct my Sun/Moon midpoint within a 2 degree orb.

Very interesting all this!

[Ava]

Thank you kindly for the feedback and midpoint information, doryandtheking,

"I’m patient but not waiting for him if that makes sense or foregoing other connections just because I feel this overwhelming love and liner eve for him."

That makes perfect sense to me. Overall I just admire the way you approach and describe this situation. I hope it improves for you!