How to Capture the Heart of a Virgo

[clementine]

Jun 17, 2018 21:29:19 GMT Ava said:

@theunknown

Well that's the healing axis, so I think these people look at potential relationships at the outset in a more evolutionary way. It's not "who are you?" but a little more like "who will you be once I heal you?" They factor themselves into the equation and then look for signs that the medicine is working. Because it does work (sometimes, or to some effect). 

You've just described how I've approached most of my relationships, romance and friendships. Luckily I'm aware that this pattern can turn into unhealthy codependence, so I'm trying to rein it in more! But I do believe we're here to help each other heal and learn and grow. That's what a relationship is, to me—a vehicle for healing. I'll try to figure out what medicine people need, and I'm good at recognizing when I'm not the right medicine for them, too. Trying to get better at calling in the medicine I need, though!

(Virgo Sun/Mercury, btw) 

[Deleted]

Before we move on:
Here are examples how Virgos are so smart and still stuck in bad relationships




I'm a mess, I'm a loser

I'm a hater, I'm a user

I'm a mess for your love, it ain't new

I'm obsessed, I'm embarrassed

I don't trust no one around us

I'm a mess for your love, it ain't new




Help me understand your love

Help me go the way you want me to go

'Cause I can't guess the things that you're thinking so

Help me understand your love

Tell me everything you want me to know

'Cause I can't fix it 'til I know that it's broken

[Ava]

-

[Deleted]

Ava I think there's a lot of merit to what you're saying. As a Virgo Rising/Mars in H6 I definitely do prefer a "sanitized" version of authenticity that doesn't ask something VERY heavy and burdensome of me. Or if someone hasn't polished up something and then presents to me, expecting me to do it, handing me something I feel is rather "messy" (for lack of better term), that does weigh heavy on my soul. I feel like Scorpio is the sign that LOVES authenticity in its most raw, ugly form.

I do agree that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is a motto of the Virgo-Pisces axis. A lot of heavily Mercurial-Neptunian people romanticize me when I'm gone but the "burden" of dealing with me on a day-to-day basis is a bit much for them. 

On one hand I'm thinking of my Neptune conj ASC ex who loves the IDEA of me 

But on another hand my Pisces Moon/Mars conj Neptune ex loved being with my on a daily basis, never being separate from my energy for even a second, we never spent even a day apart for 3 years in a 5 year long relationship. 

Self-sacrifice is also a motif of this axis, but I suppose one only receives that kind of dedication if they are deemed "worthy enough" as you alluded to earlier.. 

[Ava]

Just deleted my post because I'm struggling to get my thoughts in order here. I want to be forthright to try and get my own mind in order, but then I feel guilty for complaining.

Anyway, thanks athena.

[Violets]

Hm, there's a lot to take in here (I'm too far behind in the thread to read all comments, sorry).

Pisces Sun/Virgo Moon here.
I suppose I do look for something to heal in the people I get into relationships with, but I don't recall ever sitting around pontificating my superior ability to avoid catastrophic relationships. I do think I was under the impression that was completely normal for a long time (I guess I read too many Bronte novels in high school).

It's accurate that I highly value authenticity, but yeah I don't want to deal with *too* much crazy, in relationships or friendships.

[Violets]

I don't know if it's already been pointed out, but for myself (Moon) and other Virgo Sun/Venus people I've known, outrageous promiscuity is a big turn off. I mean, like people who will literally sleep with anyone, or cheat as a regular habit. Not just dating people and having sex with them, but you may know the type. That's always been a huge Nope for me if I've seen evidence of it beforehand (I've had a couple of bad experiences before I knew them well enough--none of those being Virgos). The people I've dated with Virgo placements have seemed similar in that regard.

Virgo people are also really affectionate, contrary to some of the stereotypes.

They're also pretty straightforward in my experience, because they usually feel it's their duty to tell you about how you *should* be doing whatever it is. That's a personal pet peeve for me, so I try not to do that. I am blunt, though. Sugar coating isn't something I enjoy doing, although I'll avoid saying something outright if I know it will be like talking to a brick wall.

[Violets]

Oh--I guess how to win their hearts, lol. In my experience, have some long-term, faithful relationships under your belt, or at least be inclined that way. Be open to being cared for, and for returning that care. Doting is a word I would use. Do that in small ways, not garishly, and be able to enjoy receiving the same. Be attractive, but not over the top flashy or arrogant. But--I guess I should add, trying to pretend any of those qualities won't work.

[12YearsABlob]

Not to interrupt the flow, but I just want to stop and appreciate how this thread (and others of its kind) has/have come along. We started this series as (a bit of) a tongue-in-cheek kinda thing. But everyone has contributed real insights and made it worthwhile!

[Ava]

Men with Virgo suns and Taurus moons seem to like women from other cultures? Almost like they are Sagittarians.


- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
- Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra
- Colin and Livia Firth
- Oliver Stone and Sun-Jung Jung

Maybe not a serious pattern, just something I noticed.

I think Virgos in general are attracted to language and people who speak different languages. They see it as an opportunity to expand their vocabulary and learn to see and describe the world in new ways. 

[12YearsABlob]

Interesting. Come to think of it, I've seen a couple of real-life examples like that too.
It might be that^ + superficial differences don't matter as much, because they see things stripped down to their purest form(s).

:edit:

[Ava]

Dec 12, 2018 13:13:43 GMT 12YearsABlob said:

It might be that^ + superficial differences don't matter as much, because they see things stripped down to their purest form(s). 

I like that.

I thought that, but not as intelligently/ clearly.  

[12YearsABlob]

Dohh, come on. I gave up on coherent sentences a long time ago, lol.

Re: That guy - sorry it was just a dumb situation, not quite what my description may have sounded like.

[Ava]

Avicii was a Virgo. (*WAS* )

Listening to this song, I was thinking of that line, "But your eyes tell me you won't be there."





Last night I got drawn into the love saga of Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson (Cap) and her husband, NFL player Andrew East (Virgo). Their suns are closely trine. He talks about how she was giving him almost zero hope at first, barely answering texts, hardly ever smiling, but one night he asked if he could read her a bedtime story, and her eyes lit up even though she said no, and he decided then and there that she was "an angel," because of what her eyes said. And over the course of many months afterwards, as she rejected him time and again, and avoided him, he was pursuing her based on the belief that, "She's an angel, I knew it from her eyes."

If you think I'm exaggerating you can just watch their series. It's cute.

Just putting this out there. I'm starting to think Virgos read eyes and put more stock on what they look like than anything you say (?)

It's that sincerity/authenticity thing, I guess.

[Deleted]

Ava Aquarius do that too ... well other than authenticity eyes indicate what catch your attention. I almost always attract Virgo Rising ... they look at my eyes and know where I’m heading and follow. Since usually I rarely discuss where I’m heading lol. It’s funny sometimes because they’d wait at where they thought I would head to and then I look somewhere else and they head there before i even do.

[12YearsABlob]

Feb 2, 2019 13:57:47 GMT Ava said:

"She's an angel, I knew it from her eyes."

Hahaa, the Virgo who was trying to convince me said something similar.. To counter my point that he's known me for literally 5 minutes. He was a bit off his rocker, so I probably shouldn't use that example.

However, another Virgo had a lot of trouble reading my face (according to him). He'd always ask to clarify.

My Virgo friend has moments of both - seeing me and not.

Virgo #3, with whom I have some Neptune/Pluto synastry, is insanely intuitive about what I'm thinking (I think I mentioned him on the Pallas thread).

And so on...

Either I'm sometimes opaque to them, or it depends on the synastry. However, they can (usually) tell who's authentic and who's in it for an ego trip and who's not reliable. But, IME, they have trouble identifying/doing away with people who take advantage of them. That's where I (or friends) come in, gotta protect those little buggers. People will suck you dry if you let them and Virgo usually lets them. 

***

Scorpios do the eye thing too, in a different way.

[Ava]

Feb 2, 2019 15:44:15 GMT @theunknown said:

Ava Aquarius do that too ... well other than authenticity eyes indicate what catch your attention.

My Aqua moon best friend is sharp as a razor with this, to the point where it's scary how much she deduces/knows and will directly ask about. 

[vaartist6]

Jun 16, 2018 8:17:41 GMT clementine said:

Virgo Sun here, and I've dated a few Virgos as well (Sun, Moon, and rising). I can't speak for other people's experiences with Virgo energy, but here's what I've noticed in my life:


If someone isn't committed to health and growth, I can't hang with them for the long haul. Making an effort matters more than the end result—like I could totally adore someone whose fashion sense was really strange, as long as I saw them making an effort to look that way. I could (and have and do) love people who aren't totally fit or totally healthy or totally accomplished, but I love to see the steps they're taking to improve their lives. And this doesn't have to look like a strict diet + exercise regimen, it could just be going to therapy or reading a self-help book to learn to love themselves more, facing their fears, learning a new language, practicing a new instrument. I want the sense that if I'm with someone for years, they'll be more interesting and compassionate in 20 years than they are now.

What I need from a partner (pure Virgo needs, apart from my personal planets in Leo/Cancer/Taurus) is that they take my skills seriously and don't take me for granted. It's also never good when someone tells me "stop worrying" or "stop being anxious." My anxiety is a byproduct of my superpower! Instead, it's much better when a partner just stays mellow and lighthearted, helps me laugh at myself. Virgo neeeeeeeds downtime and levity, and sometimes someone else needs to take charge when it comes to recreation. Virgos dating Virgos are the worst at "I don't know, where do *you* want to eat?"

Finally, being able to hold an intelligent conversation is critical. If my mind isn't turned on, it won't last long.

Amen, 100 TIMES yes!  That is one of my non-negotiables in whatever becomes my next relationship.  Virgo Sun/Merc/Mars here and I underestimated the importance of this when I was younger.  Looks are great, but intelligent banter plus good hygiene and grooming (smell nice and be "put together") and I'm paying attention...